🍁Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🍂

Hi guys!

How are you? I was having a few issues uploading my first podcast on WordPress, but at least the link is there. If you know how I can use a player instead of a link, please let me know. But click the link and it will take you to my podcast. I like the “waves” in the background on the podcast, it’s cute. I’m new to this whole podcasting thing, so please excuse the tiny clip at the end that suddenly gets loud and cuts off. I tried editing that out, but it stayed! Anyway. Stay well and take care of yourselves. I’ll be back very soon!

Much love.

https://anchor.fm/amanda261121/embed

xoxo

Movember: Mental Health Awareness for Men

Hello my sweet souls…

November is the month we should also look out for and take care of the men in our lives, be it our fathers, brothers, uncles, boyfriends, husbands or just a friend. Text, call or visit a male person in your life and ask how they are doing. Not just a simple question, but truly ask them how they are feeling. I recently asked one of my male buddies and he admitted he wasn’t doing too well in a certain part of his life. I searched and gave him a number and website he could go to and seek help. I convinced him to get therapy and he never thought about going to therapy. Whether my buddy will go or not, it’s up to him, I did remind him that I am here for him if he needs anything or just needs to talk. He does have a girlfriend, so he has someone he can also talk to if he needs to. I personally think all year we should be be checking up on each other because sometimes people don’t speak up because no one really doesn’t ask them how they are really doing. People just want their feelings validated and understood. It’s a lonely world out there and sometimes it just takes just one person to acknowledge a hurting heart.

Remember, we are all phenomenal!

Artsy selfie.
Waiting for the soup to heat up.

The black and white photo is my cobalt blue sweater I am obsessed with right now. I bought it back in June to wear this Fall. My ring is something I bought a year ago and it’s a peach sapphire stone with a gold band. It’s so pretty! I wanted to post a colored picture of my sweater so you could see what a striking blue it is! You know how as a kid you waited impatiently for something with both hands on your head? Lol, that’s me. Something beautiful is coming up and I will be taking pictures & a video to show all of you. I can’t wait! It’s very, very beautiful. Just wait and see what it will be!

Twinkling town below.

Took a ride up to Palmer Park. This view always melts my heart. I live up in the hills, so I see this sight all the time, but this is from Palmer Park which is in the middle of town and not in the mountains! It looks like I am in the mountains looking down at the town, but it’s just a park in the middle of town. Behind me is the rest of the town. Palmer Park is huge and has lots of trails for runners, walkers and bikers.


Deformed full moon.

I have an Iphone 11, but my moon still looks deformed! I like this photo nevertheless with someone’s window glowing into the night. Winter is coming and it’s been so cold. The homes are lit up and cozy inside. I’ve had hot chocolate with marshmellow fluff two nights in a row, I’m out of control. Tonight it was soup, but no hot chocolate. The single girl’s life is so adventurous, no? Shout out to all the single women out there! I’m going to be wild and crazy and have tea later on tonight. I recently bought Earl Grey tea, scone mix and clotted cream. Nothing like a British tea with scones!

Until next time my sweet souls. Take care of each other and yourself. The next blog post will be beautiful, I promise! I can’t wait!

Much love.

**Cobalt Heavy Cable Knit Turtleneck Sweater by Boohoo

That view!

Hi guys!

So nice to see you all! A special hello to my new subscribers! I see you & want to welcome you with a great big hug! Stick around!

I got a new iphone about 3 weeks ago and I’m having fun playing with its features. I used to use the OG Movie Maker, remember that? But they don’t make it like they used to. So, I decided to get the app Adobe premiere and used it to edit my video. Here it is. It’s my first time using my new iphone to edit, so don’t laugh! I’m like a toddler with my editing skills on my iphone. It will get better, I promise. I wasn’t trying to be perfect in today’s video, I just wanted to shoot something and upload it. It took me a while to find the perfect song to go along with this vimeo video. In other news, wait until you see where I’ll be in November! It will blow your mind and my iphone will capture it all! It cost a pretty penny to get tickets, but it has been my dream to go to it for the past 2 years!

Take a ride with us as we ride around my favorite street, Peterson Road. Gosh, I love this road so much.

Maybe next time I’ll take you guys on a ride to one of my favorite parks. The views are amazing because the park is high above the town. Stay tuned.

Sorry! I didn’t know my video would be so big! Apologies for seeing my mug so huge! I don’t know how to make it smaller. :O

Until next time. xoxo

Hair nightmare & Snapchat being creepy

Hello everyone!

How are you? I am actually back on here. Sooner than I expected, but I wanted to jot down some things only because I found them somewhat amusing and wanted to immortalize it here in my digital journal. Last Friday I got my hair done, something I have not done at a salon in about 2.5 years or so. My highlights are quite expensive and I’ve had to be extra careful in how I’ve spent my money the past years. I’ve missed my highlights as I’ve always had them most of my life. Everything was going well as I caught up with my hairstylist. Since I had been absent, she has gotten a boyfriend, engaged, married and gave birth to a son who is now one years old. I wanted a balayage which is an ombre sort of hair color from the bottom up. After 4 hours sitting in the chair, she was done. Much to my dismay, I did not get what I had wanted. What happened to her magic? I wasn’t happy. I wanted highlights framing my face, which she did, but the color was very blond, almost platinum. Gasp! I wanted a softer, caramel looking highlights. The rest of my hair was so dark and I didn’t like the contrast, it was too much. Feeling defeated that I spent quite a large amount of money on my hair after years of not going, I left the salon. I later bought some hair color and hoped it would darken my highlights the next day. After coloring my hair, yes, I know-a major hair sin! But I was desperate! Nevertheless, I colored my hair (again) and took a shower. While in the shower, I noticed my ends looked grey! No, no, nooooo! This can’t be happening? How? Well, obviously the hair gods were furious at me and wanted to punish me for doing the absolute sin of recoloring after going to the salon. I dried my hair and to my shock, my highlights that were once platinum blond were now grey! The chemical mixture of the box hair dye didn’t mix well with my professional salon dyed hair. Which reminds me of this scene of Anne of Green Gables when she tried to color her hair black and it came out green! Haha! Ugh, the struggles! I feel ya pain girl! Can I just remind everyone that I am obsessed with Anne of Green Gables?

Credit: Finfy

The last time my hair was grey looking was when I had to put baby powder in my hair for a play in Brazil to play an old lady and I was in High School! I was not going to succumb to just walking around in society with grey highlights! Grey balayage is just too weird. I turned to YouTube, of all place, to see how I could fix this travesty. Turns out I just needed 2 items to get back my highlights. All I needed were several lemons and a little bit of conditioner; mix those babies up and vavoom, you’ve got the magic potion. I watched 2 videos of girls who experienced the same hair perils I was going through. I was pleasantly pleased to see that they reversed their grey toned hair. My son curiously stared at my grey highlights and said, “It….doesn’t look that bad!” I appreciated his sweet words, but I knew deep down, he was horrified.

This afternoon, I squeezed a bag of lemons as I prepared to reverse the grey highlights. What started with me daintily putting the mixture on a comb and putting it on my hair gingerly and carefully, ended up with me 5 minutes later dumping the rest of the mixture on my hair and massaging my head. Patience much? I got all my ends saturated and especially my frames. This was a battle of reversing the evil grey tones of my hair. After a few minutes, I saw the blond come back and the grey gone! It’s a miracle! Thank you lemons, my little yellow super heroes.

Highlights are rockin’ again and everything is good in paradise as per photo below.

Things are going well. I have 3 major goals to be completed by June or July. I think having goals in life is good, but also short term goals are good too. I feel like I am enjoying this time in life after several years of having hard times. I pause and thank God for allowing me get through it. I’ve never been happier! The will to be the best I can be, to pursue my dreams and to stay focus has been my main priority. I continue to work very hard in doing my physical therapy. Some days I feel like a slug and don’t want to, but then I remember how far I’ve come. For a while, I thought I would never completely recover. Then some days I realize I have improved, they are just little subtle improvements that show themselves, but it is up to me to see it. I just get so excited about my future & want to go out there and conquer the world; I get squirly about it. Slow & steady. Everything happens when it’s supposed to.

Brown eyes. No grey contact lenses today.

I was playing around with my Snapchat when it suddenly decided to turn creepy on me. I’m not sure if this has happened to anyone else, but listen to this. I was trying different filters on my phone. I had not pushed the record button when suddenly I was no longer in control of my camera! Maybe it was a glitch? My hand was holding my phone steady and not moving. My camera was facing me, but what was being shown on my phone was the ceiling and it was moving. It only happened for 5 seconds, but it looked like my camera was looking around my room on my phone. Maybe it was a glitch and my Snapchat recorded my movements earlier and was just showing it on my phone. Nevertheless, it was strange and creepy. I quickly closed the app and felt it. It was hot. That’s enough, you hot phone! You need to cool off!

When you think you’re having a bad day, remember there are others who are having worse days. It brings it all into perspective. Be gentle to yourself. Love yourself. We all have a purpose, even if it’s just to make a stranger smile. Until next time which will be soon. I promise.

Much love xoxo

Day 25. March Blog Challenge 🤖

What were your favorite childhood toys and shows growing up?

Hi there buttercups!

I’ve been super busy doing things. One of them is organizing about 3,000 photos online in categories so it’s easier to make videos and things like that. Plus, I have 7 USBs I had to go through. This has taken me hours as I’m also uploading them on Onedrive. Ok, so I was going to post pictures of my favorite toys growing up, but I thought it would be easier to show commercials of them instead. Walking down memory lane my loves! Right this way!

Cabbage Patch Kids!

I was a little late to the game in regards to owning one, but I did finally get one as a present.

Credit: AnainCA

Slip’n Slide

This was a lot of fun! Good times!

Credit:RetroStatic

Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood

Don’t the first few notes of the intro make you feel like a little kid again? You’re suddenly transported to a time in your life where you felt special, even though the man talking to you in that soft spoken voice was in the tv? I really enjoyed his shows. I especially loved the adorable red trolley and King Friday and his court. There was always drama with them! Isn’t it amazing how shows influence your interest as you get older? I still love trains & trolleys to this day & I follow the royal family in England too.

Credit: Christian Michael Corenza

Reading Rainbow

Such a great show! Those days reminded me of the book catalog where you could buy books from. I used to love the magazine for kids called Highlights because they had poetry and drawings of kids from all over the country. I believe this was where my love of poetry stems from.

Credit: Hilbenhousen Industries

My Little Pony

Well, my pony was raised in the tropics! I would braid my pony’s tail and make makeshift boats for my pony to ride in. It rained heavily everyday in Brazil so there were always little streams my pony would sail on or if I was feeling especially adventurous, we’d play in mud. I would make sand castles on the beach for my pony and we’d go swimming together in the ocean & pool.

Credit: 80sCommercialsForever

Snoopy Snowcone Machine

Snoopy is the original gansta, the G. What kid doesn’t love snow cones? I never stopped & when my son was old enough to work the machine on his own, I got one! It’s in storage in New Jersey I believe. We would have a lot of fun making our own snowcones. I’m such a hipster mom!

Credit: Steve Betancourt

Scooby Doo

I was mesmerized by this show! The show was funny, but there were still some parts that scared me! It wasn’t too horrifically scary, but just enough to watch it with a blanket near my chin ready to hide under for the scary parts. Maybe the show was preparing me for when I’d actually end up living in several haunted homes! Surprisingly, my son & I watch horror movies and laugh throughout the movie! We’ve had so many ghostly experiences we shake our heads & think that’s not what happens! My son grew up watching Scooby Doo & wanted shirts with Scooby Doo on them.

Credit: TITRO99

80’s tv toy, cereal commercials

I will leave these commercials as a walk down memory lane. Maybe you’ll see something on this video which will make you say, “Oh yeah! I remember playing with that!”

Credit: 80sCommercialVault

xoxo 🤖

Finding Fukue: “I want to find you”

Hello my dear friends,

As the first day of December presents itself to us, we usually find ourselves thinking of our loved ones as Christmas brings together our loved ones. We think of our loved ones who are still here and those who have passed on. Then there are the ones who continue to think about those loved ones who somehow disappeared from our lives. Those loved ones who made such a difference in our young lives or a huge difference in a short amount of time. For some reason or another, those loved ones somehow disappeared from our lives leaving us confused, sad and missing them a lot. Do you have anyone who you still think about? I do. I have a few people in mind. I think of my friend Amy. I’ve tried to find her on Facebook using two of her last names. She got married twice. I’m hoping she still lives in New Jersey as I lost touch with her when my son was around 2 years old, but we certainly had a kindred spirit and we had a lot in common. Unfortunately, she got into drugs and made bad choices in life as she didn’t choose the best boyfriends or husbands in her early 20’s. I could have sworn I saw her one day taking a smoke break at a corner with her coworker. She looked skinnier, had shallow cheeks and looked worn down. I should have stopped. I just wasn’t sure it was her and I continued driving. My search continues and always will for her. However, I will make an effort to get in contact with my friends who I haven’t been in touch with more starting this month and the year approaching. I want to be more in contact with them then I have been before.

Here’s to all you who are still searching for people of your past. May your search bring you peace, happiness and a connection that has been missing in your great big journey in life. It’s amazing how having a little piece of your past heal and close a gaping hole of uncertainty.

Enjoy this beautiful story. I know I cried when I watched it, it was so beautiful, sentimental and I was cheering for her to find her kindred spirit.

Video credit: CBC Docs

This post is dedicated to my old childhood friends, Martin (who lives in Switzerland with his lovely wife and kids), David my bestfriend from Brazil who is the namesake of my son’s middle name (who lives in the UK with his beautiful wife and kids), Andrea, Misty and Joe (another childhood friend who I plan to reconnect with soon, our mothers were bestfriends).

Why does he keep showing up? His name is…


Photo credit: Google

I’ve been sitting on my couch staring out into the wilderness outside imagining what life must’ve been like when Colorado was being explored by pioneers. The trees are slowly and gently changing colors and it’s as if nature is showcasing it’s last scene before the curtain call. The sounds of birds are heard as they chirp happily whilst flying around and dodging the colored leaves that fall to their fate to the splendor of the ground; its final resting place.

I go into the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea and once again curl up on the couch looking outside. It is quiet. Too quiet. My teacup is surrounded by both hands as I blow to cool the steaming tea. Autumn is here once again and I love it. Nothing beats wearing warm fuzzy socks, hair up in a messy bun and curled up on the couch.

I hear a knock on the door. Who could it be? Why now? Do people not ring doorbells anymore? Or call? I’m scared. I don’t like strangers coming to my door. I put my cup of tea down and tip toe to my window. Socks or not, I feel stealth as if a jaguar hunting its prey. I look out my window briefly to see who it is. I quickly retreat back after I see who it is. I release a long sigh. Him again?

I open the door.

“Hey” he says.
“Hey” is all I can reply with a downcast look on my face.
“Can I come in?”
“I guess so. Why are you here? You seem to show up when I really don’t want you to show up. This isn’t a good time.”
“I just came to see how you were doing…”
“You know perfectly well how I’m doing, this is exactly why you’re here. But come on in. Do you want anything to drink?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you have coffee? I like mine black”, he says as he walks around and takes in everything in my home. I’m secretly hoping this isn’t a long visit. I’m already plotting to see how I can get rid of him. He’s annoying af.
“So, where’s your friend? You guys are always hanging out together.”
“Oh him? He almost came, but I felt like I’d come instead…alone.”
“Good”, I replied. His friend is more annoying and both of them together is a nightmare.

Too lazy to really heat up a pot of fresh water, I instead took out a cup from the cupboard and put tap water in it. I put it in the microwave to heat up for 2 minutes. After making small talk with my visitor, I added instant coffee and handed it to him. We both walked to the living room and sat down. He looked across the room at me which felt like forever. I couldn’t tell if he was totally relaxed or just waiting to see what I would say next. I can play that game too.

I look at him for a long time without saying anything. We both know what each other is thinking. I break the silence.

“I’ve been going through a lot. I have a lot on my plate right now. ”

“I know”, he says as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Wait, are you reading my tweets on Twitter?” I ask innocently. Of course, he’s reading my tweets.

“Ok, ok. You got me. I do read your tweets. That’s why I’m here. To see how you really are. ”

“Well, to be perfectly honest, I have to deal with you. You and I know what’s going on between us. How are we going to deal with this? I told you I don’t want you in my life, but you keep showing up. This month has been bad too. Especially the past 2 weeks. ”

“Geez. What about me don’t you like?”

“Are you serious?”, I sarcastically ask. “I don’t like how you make me feel. You make me feel confused. You’re the reason I stay up late at night. You’re the reason why I want to be left alone to think things over…and over.  There’s going to be a lot of life changes in the coming year and you’re not making it any easier.”

“I know what you need. You need a plan. Maybe that will help?”

“That’s what I’m trying to do now. I’m thinking of my backup plans. With my knee in pain, I’m not sure if my current job is a good fit anymore. Maybe I should stick to an office type of job. I have to start looking for another apt when my lease ends in December. Do I buy a home here in Colorado or move out of State after 4 years?”

“I’m sorry”, he quietly says. “I know I’ve been coming around a lot lately, but this is the first time you’ve let me in to actually talk to you.”

“I just don’t know how to deal with you sometimes. You’ll always be a part of my life and I knew especially this year, you’d come around a lot.”

“Listen, all I can say is ask advice from people who are much older than you. Wiser, if you will. See what they have to say.” He gets up to walk towards the window and stares out into the courtyard taking the last sips of his coffee. After a minute, he turns around and puts his coffee cup down on the table.

“Do you mind if I come back again Thursday?” he softly asks.

“Yeah, I actually do mind. I’ll be busy and I have a doctor’s appointment that day. I really, really don’t want any visitors, especially you. I just want to come home and rest and go from there.” It feels good to say that to him. He’s heard this many times before and sometimes he listens, other times he comes anyways.

I walk him to the door. We don’t hug. There are no cheek kisses either. I feel the chill in the air and admire the blue sky above. He turns around and walks away and disappears around the corner.

His name is “uncertainty”.

He’s not a real person, of course. He’s a feeling. The feeling of uncertainty.

Sometimes we all need to train our minds to keep out negative thoughts or as in this case, we need to deal with it and find out the reason why these feelings come often. To replace or do something that will help with feelings of uncertainty is a process. Everyone wants consistency and when life throws a fast one on you, it can make you feel unbalanced and a bit stressed.

 

Worries and back pain…

Dear friends,

I’m still alive! Nice to see you all. Even my new subscribers. I see you and welcome. Thanks for following even though there’s cobwebs on my last post. I need to come here more often. Which brings me to ask you guys about something. One of the things that has stopped me from posting as much as I want is that I need to find an easy but very good video editing software. I used to use “Movie maker” and I loved it. Then the big bosses decided to not include them in new laptops. I used to edit all my videos on there because it was easy to snip, edit and do all kinds of things on Movie maker. I know there is a new version of it, but it’s really weird. I’m looking for a video editing software that is easy to use. I want to post it on my Vimeo channel because the clarity is better. I miss making videos and want to practice camera angles and sweeping cinematic scenes with my camera. Editing takes forever, but I can always make time because it’s relaxing in a strange way. Please let me know on the comment area below. I’m curious to know what you guys use.

My son is finishing up his first week of being a Senior. He’s very involved in several clubs and is a Link Crew member. Link Crew members are handpicked students who are mentors for Freshmen that year. My son had to apply and answer some questions of why he should be a Link Crew member. There are 500 Freshmen this year at his school! His school is huge and I remember his first day as a Freshman. I am entering a phase of life that many parents of Seniors are at. This is my only child and it’s all new to me and a bit emotional too. Have I really come to the end of my child’s school years? I made it this far… on my own. As a single mom. Soon before December, I’ll be filling out Financial Aid forms and talking more about colleges. 4 years flew by fast. We came to Colorado in the middle of his 8th grade year. There are going to be so many milestones this year, it’s almost dizzying to my mind. Getting his driver’s permit is happening one of these weekends and soon I’ll be teaching him how to drive. One minute I’m looking into my newborn’s little pink face only a few hours old and I’m telling him I’m going to raise him as best as I can and the next here I am suddenly a mother of a Senior boy. In my mind I’m already making a list of things he’ll need for college and how his room will be the coolest dorm room ever.

Lately, I’ve had back issues. I had an xray 3 weeks ago and my doctor said it looked normal, just the usual wear and tear as we age. However, he did look up at me and said, “I did find something odd though.” Huh. Wut. Really? Now??? Sigh. I had a long day and I was tired. Please don’t tell me I’m morphing into some wild creature. He continued to say that he found that my bone density was above average. He said usually bone density gets weaker and thinner, but mine was above average and asked if I was eating a lot of veggies and fruits. I confessed, I wasn’t… BUT. I am taking my vitamins! Especially my Vitamin D gummy ones. He said to take one instead of two. That was positive news. It was just weird how he got all dramatic and suspenseful about my bone density. I am getting an MRI next week to see more details of why my lower right back hurts which is affecting my foot and leg. It’s not sciatica which I had last year and got taken care of after 4 months of physical therapy. Wish me luck. I just want something to improve it because I’m starting to get worried. And I tend to worry a lot. I hate worrying and need to find things to occupy my mind before it gets out of hand and I end up in a panic attack. Lol.

I’ll be back. Let me know what editing software you guys use. I just need ideas and reviews of editing software so I can continue making videos and posting them on here.

Later love bugs! xoxo

This song is so dreamy. I listen to it when I’m getting for work and when I’m driving back home as I decompress. This song is so calming to the ears and I love the vibe.