
Dear friends,
February is a month of love. A time to remember those we cherish dear to our hearts and a time to remind them how much they mean to you. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day as I truly believe you should treat your loved one with love letters, lyrics of love songs and small acts of love all year long. However, this year I relented and decided I would just enjoy it minus someone significant in my life. Being single and observing those who have their special person is lovely. It makes me happy to see couples be so in love and happy together. It also makes me thrilled to know I am not in a relationship when I see couples fight. Over the course of many years of being single, I have learned a lot about how to not have fights or arguments in a relationship. These are things I am looking forward to use in a future relationship. No relationship is perfect, but if you have tools to avoid any World War III fights, then that is a good foundation for a healthy relationship.
Adventure Boy and I went to a local park because it was such a beautiful day. I took my heart snow maker I bought online 2 years ago. I thought it would be cute to take some photos using snow hearts in pictures. I only wanted one little snow heart on a tree, but Adventure Boy took over and decided to decorate most of the bottom half of the tree at the park. I thought it was so sweet of him. This was at a playground, so when we leave we will never see the reactions of the mothers who will bring their children to the playground. I can only hope they will appreciate a little magic on the tree. Leaving love everywhere we go with our heart snow maker.
As Adventure Boy was decorating the tree, I wanted to have fun with optical illusions.

My older sister in Brazil messaged me saying my biological mother had gone into the hospital and had been there for a few days. Three days later, on February 3, 2023, my younger sister told me my biological mother had passed away. My mother had 2 strokes and her memory had gotten to the point where she did not know anyone anymore. Up to the point until she could no longer remember who I was, she would always ask about me.

My biological mother said giving me up for adoption was the hardest thing she ever did. However, the adoption was open and I was able to see her during my school years. I did not have a close relationship with her, but I did know how she was doing and she with me. I will always remember that she loved me to pieces and was very proud of me. That meant a lot to me. I was a gift of love to her being born from the love of her life, my father. I was also the gift of love to my adoptive mother who gave me my middle name of Amanda, which means “gift of love”.
I have not had the chance to tell Adventure Boy of his Brazilian native Indian biological grandmother’s passing. He did not have a close relationship with her nor did he even meet her. He only knew stories of her that I told him about. I am still grieving quietly and remembering as much as I can that I knew of her.
My grieving for a mother I hardly knew is complicated. Losing my last mother only reminds me of losing my adoptive mother ten years ago. The sadness is complicated but nevertheless filled with memories and appreciation. My grieving only taps into the many years she had leading up to her death. I often wonder what life was like, but I console my soul knowing she probably had many great memories of her grandchildren and celebrating holidays. With that, I hope her sadness of knowing her only daughter she had given up for adoption did not consume her beautiful heart. Recently I was getting ready to send gifts to my siblings and a special necklace for my mother. It was bittersweet to know she will never wear my necklace I bought her. I will give it to my older sister to thank her for providing a wonderful home for our mother during her last years.
I hope she knew deep down in her heart I thought of her often and am and will be eternally grateful for the life she gave me and the foreign life living as an American citizen. I say foreign because my life living in the jungle would have been difficult and I would have never had the opportunities that I have had now. All because my biological mother wanted me to have a greater life than what she could have given me.
Rest in peace mom. We put hearts on a tree on behalf of your love. We know you are the happiest you’ve ever been as you finally meet my adoptive mom in heaven. When it is my time to go, I hope to see both of you waiting for me at the gates of heaven.
This is my older sister who took care of our mother for many years. My mom had an amazi smngile, but she’s not smiling here for some reason. I do love how she is rocking her hair back, styled sleek. She was a sweet lady and very popular with all those that knew her.



Hugs the ones you love. Sending all my love to each and every one of you. Until next time!
Lots of love.
xx
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