Sorry for keeping you in suspense. I’ll tell you exactly why it’s taken me some time to write part 3. I got the official notice of his sentence on May 31st. The sentence gave mixed emotions as you’ll read later on. The other reason is that after I heard about the sentence I decided it was time to start a new chapter in my life. A chapter where there wasn’t any phone calls from prosecutors, detectives or anyone else regarding the case. I felt a huge sense of relief and I could finally shake the stress away and live my life in a happier circumstance. My sense of happiness came and it felt beautiful. I’m a happy person to begin with, but this was a relieved sense of happiness which brought along its friends, peace and tranquility. I wanted to spend time alone without blogging to gather my thoughts, digest the sentence and just begin living my life.
The trial was 3 hours long and I sat up there answering all the questions being catapulted towards me. If you’ve ever had to sit as a witness for a crime and be asked all kinds of questions, it’s mentally exhausting. Photographs were shown on the screen for everyone in the courtroom to see. I hated that he had to look at me the entire time. The whole situation was surreal. One minute I’m living my life in Colorado and the next thing I know I’m sitting in a courtroom testifying against someone who violated me many years ago. How did I get here? Nevertheless, I’m glad he’s been in jail for close to 2 years.
After I was done testifying, I got down from my seat and walked out from the courtroom. I felt bad I couldn’t shake the hand or hug my Prosecuter because she still had to argue my case after I left. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted I spent the next 6 hours just relaxing and taking small naps. My son was able to hang out with his friends at a local mall. He later told me he had a lot of fun and laughed a lot with his friends.
Now all I needed to do was just wait for the verdict and sentence.
We were escorted by 2 Detectives dressed in suits and stereotypical jackets to the airport. Just as when they picked us up, we felt like were being whisked away in a special ops movie scene in an undercover police car. We hopped on the plane and listened to the chatter of fellow passengers. One passenger said he was from Manitou Springs, which is a mountain town literally 15 minutes from where we live. It felt nice to be among fellow Coloradans.
It took 2 days for the jury to deliberate. I once was a juror, so I knew exactly what they were going through and the process of it. Believe me, with 12 different personalities, it’s hard to come up with the same verdict or agree. There may be one juror who is so stubborn or another who is very undecided.
My Victim’s Advocate later called me on May 31s and told me the news. Because he had been sitting in jail for 2 years, this gave me him credit towards any jail time. He was found guilty of three counts. Basically, he’s eligible for parole now. Yes, you heard that right. It doesn’t mean he’s free right now. He’s still in State prison as we speak, but being eligle for parole can take weeks or up to a year. They have to put in consideration his behavior whilst in prison the past 2 years.
Dealing with him getting out of jail so soon only brought a lot of fear to me because I felt as if he might come after me and try to hunt me down for revenge. I didn’t want to constantly live my life looking behind my back. I later found out he has a Nazi tattoo on his head, so I’m not sure how active he is about that lifestyle. I had this fear and I expressed my fear to my Victim’s Advocate and in my Victim’s Statement I gave to the judge. The judge read the letter and made sure he was not to contact me. Ever. I’m not sure if these fears were because I had just relived a traumatic experience through testifying or something else. My Victim’s Advocate talked a long time with me regarding my fears and what she has seen with former clients the past 20 years she has worked on cases like mine. Either way, whenever he is released from jail, I will be immediately notified by letter and through my Victim’s Advocate. I pray to God I will not panic for a few seconds and only remain strong as I have been and will be.
I knew in order to live a fulfilling life without fear (fear is normal and I’m only human) and as normal as anyone else, I had to change my way of thinking. Doing little things like getting the Ring.com doorbell which video tapes anyone who comes near your door will relieve me of any stress. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m going to keep living life and having fun. Another reason why I blog is so that my son will always have something to read regarding my life after it’s my time to go (of old age). I have no intention of ever stopping blogging. I love writing too much.
I do want to say that with this experience, if you know anyone who has gone through a similar experience, let them know they will get through it. They are survivors. They are warriors and have fought a tough war and will come out of it victorious like me. Yes, it’s a very tough battle to go through, the whole court process, the emotional stress and feelings of loneliness, but it will only make a person that much stronger for whatever life has prepared for the future. I’m thankful that I have a strong faith and I couldn’t have gone through this without God.
When I was writing my final victim’s impact statement to be given to the judge to read in court for sentencing day, I listened to this song below. I was having problems in how to start one, so once I heard this song, I knew exactly what I had to write. So this particular music means a lot to me. It captures my spirit and my soul.
Video credit: ThePrimeCronus