For my broken hearted single subscribers out there. Don’t lose hope. There is a beautiful soul out there just waiting to meet you. The timing will be right. Don’t rush it.
How are you? I am actually back on here. Sooner than I expected, but I wanted to jot down some things only because I found them somewhat amusing and wanted to immortalize it here in my digital journal. Last Friday I got my hair done, something I have not done at a salon in about 2.5 years or so. My highlights are quite expensive and I’ve had to be extra careful in how I’ve spent my money the past years. I’ve missed my highlights as I’ve always had them most of my life. Everything was going well as I caught up with my hairstylist. Since I had been absent, she has gotten a boyfriend, engaged, married and gave birth to a son who is now one years old. I wanted a balayage which is an ombre sort of hair color from the bottom up. After 4 hours sitting in the chair, she was done. Much to my dismay, I did not get what I had wanted. What happened to her magic? I wasn’t happy. I wanted highlights framing my face, which she did, but the color was very blond, almost platinum. Gasp! I wanted a softer, caramel looking highlights. The rest of my hair was so dark and I didn’t like the contrast, it was too much. Feeling defeated that I spent quite a large amount of money on my hair after years of not going, I left the salon. I later bought some hair color and hoped it would darken my highlights the next day. After coloring my hair, yes, I know-a major hair sin! But I was desperate! Nevertheless, I colored my hair (again) and took a shower. While in the shower, I noticed my ends looked grey! No, no, nooooo! This can’t be happening? How? Well, obviously the hair gods were furious at me and wanted to punish me for doing the absolute sin of recoloring after going to the salon. I dried my hair and to my shock, my highlights that were once platinum blond were now grey! The chemical mixture of the box hair dye didn’t mix well with my professional salon dyed hair. Which reminds me of this scene of Anne of Green Gables when she tried to color her hair black and it came out green! Haha! Ugh, the struggles! I feel ya pain girl! Can I just remind everyone that I am obsessed with Anne of Green Gables?
The last time my hair was grey looking was when I had to put baby powder in my hair for a play in Brazil to play an old lady and I was in High School! I was not going to succumb to just walking around in society with grey highlights! Grey balayage is just too weird. I turned to YouTube, of all place, to see how I could fix this travesty. Turns out I just needed 2 items to get back my highlights. All I needed were several lemons and a little bit of conditioner; mix those babies up and vavoom, you’ve got the magic potion. I watched 2 videos of girls who experienced the same hair perils I was going through. I was pleasantly pleased to see that they reversed their grey toned hair. My son curiously stared at my grey highlights and said, “It….doesn’t look that bad!” I appreciated his sweet words, but I knew deep down, he was horrified.
This afternoon, I squeezed a bag of lemons as I prepared to reverse the grey highlights. What started with me daintily putting the mixture on a comb and putting it on my hair gingerly and carefully, ended up with me 5 minutes later dumping the rest of the mixture on my hair and massaging my head. Patience much? I got all my ends saturated and especially my frames. This was a battle of reversing the evil grey tones of my hair. After a few minutes, I saw the blond come back and the grey gone! It’s a miracle! Thank you lemons, my little yellow super heroes.
Highlights are rockin’ again and everything is good in paradise as per photo below.
Things are going well. I have 3 major goals to be completed by June or July. I think having goals in life is good, but also short term goals are good too. I feel like I am enjoying this time in life after several years of having hard times. I pause and thank God for allowing me get through it. I’ve never been happier! The will to be the best I can be, to pursue my dreams and to stay focus has been my main priority. I continue to work very hard in doing my physical therapy. Some days I feel like a slug and don’t want to, but then I remember how far I’ve come. For a while, I thought I would never completely recover. Then some days I realize I have improved, they are just little subtle improvements that show themselves, but it is up to me to see it. I just get so excited about my future & want to go out there and conquer the world; I get squirly about it. Slow & steady. Everything happens when it’s supposed to.
I was playing around with my Snapchat when it suddenly decided to turn creepy on me. I’m not sure if this has happened to anyone else, but listen to this. I was trying different filters on my phone. I had not pushed the record button when suddenly I was no longer in control of my camera! Maybe it was a glitch? My hand was holding my phone steady and not moving. My camera was facing me, but what was being shown on my phone was the ceiling and it was moving. It only happened for 5 seconds, but it looked like my camera was looking around my room on my phone. Maybe it was a glitch and my Snapchat recorded my movements earlier and was just showing it on my phone. Nevertheless, it was strange and creepy. I quickly closed the app and felt it. It was hot. That’s enough, you hot phone! You need to cool off!
When you think you’re having a bad day, remember there are others who are having worse days. It brings it all into perspective. Be gentle to yourself. Love yourself. We all have a purpose, even if it’s just to make a stranger smile. Until next time which will be soon. I promise.
Much love xoxo
How is everyone doing? I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there. I know it’s tough, I truly do. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to an empty auditorium, but when I go and see on my stats that people still swing by to see if I’ve written or have read my posts, I feel all good & fuzzy. Those feels, ya know? It can bring a blogger back to write again. So that’s what I’m doing right now regardless of who is in here. First and foremost, allow me to deeply apologize for being MIA for most of last year. As you may know, I had a knee surgery back in June of 2020. I had a minor fracture on my femur during the operation and it put me back 6 weeks in wearing a leg brace and a walker. Yes, I felt like a 98 year old woman walking around with a walker, but I loved the fuss I got as a result. I would get these looks of “Aww, poor girl all disabled and stuff” or “Why is she using a walker, she doesn’t look old” to the outright outburst of “What happened to you?!” I got a lot of “medical ageism or medical stereotype” statements directed at me like, “You’re too young to have a total knee replacement!” Often I’d have to defend myself stating that I had bad arthritis and it wasn’t my fault. Things happen. I just happened to draw the card in life of having bad arthritis in my knee. What can I do? I had to make do of it and take care of my condition. Do babies ask for childhood cancers? No. Do they deserve it? Of course not! Did I ask for my spinal cord to be squished by my back bone and therefore need an emergency surgery in May of 2019? No. Things happen and I feel like people think you need to be a certain age to experience “old people” things. Having a physical therapist assistant tell me, “Oh, I thought by now you would’ve been able to do that (a certain exercise)” and expecting me to fit the mold and comparing me to what other people with knee replacements go through in their success stories. My surgeon said it would take about 18 months until I would feel like myself. It’s been 8 months and I am still going to physical therapy. I am improving! Those are just some of the negative things I’ve experienced other than the loneliness and isolation I have felt since January of 2019. I’ve learned you can’t rely on people for feeling good in lonely times. You must truly love being by yourself and make yourself happy. People will let you down. But in saying that, it doesn’t mean to stop checking up on other people and making sure they are ok. I’m not one to beg people to check up on me. I’ve discovered which friends are real and which ones have been fake from the beginning. It’s ok because I now just invest on those friendships that are genuine and it’s quite lovely. I’m sorry for ranting!
The beautiful thing about isolating and feeling lonely is that you are more in your head than usual. You get a clarity about life and future goals. I start thinking of where I’d like to be once things appear to be normal in society. But what will be normal? I think the world will open back up and we will see people doing things we used to see. However, there has been a sense of emotional trauma we have all experienced that we will be bringing into the “new normal”. Side eyeing someone when they cough or sneeze. That used to be normal, right? All you said was bless you and you went on with life. Now, when someone coughs or sneezes innocently (even due to allergies like myself), people will most likely step away and act like you have some crazy disease. There’s a lot of arguments of wearing masks and not wearing masks. I don’t want to get into it, but I wanted to show this cute mask from Snapchat which is much cuter than the blue mask I usually wear. Ugh. My hair is so 2020. Time to add highlights again!
So going to physical therapy has been beneficial and I am gaining strength on my operated leg. I still use a cane, but am lifting it up every 5 steps to get used to not using it when outside. Inside my home, I force myself to walk around as best as I can without a cane and it’s been helping. I went back to my original physical therapist in October of last year and it’s been going well. I like that my physical therapist believes in me. I don’t give myself enough credit when it comes to some things. My last appointment, he observed me walking with my cane and said I should try holding a 10 lb kettlebell on my left hand and walk one small lap. I did it. He walked beside me to make sure he could catch me if I fell, but I didn’t fall. I thought to myself, “Omg! I’m walking without a cane carrying a 10 lb weight…what is this wizardry?” Even I was surprised at how easy it was and it felt comfortable. Today I was a bit sore from yesterday so walking a few laps made me a tiny bit shaky. Having a determined spirit, I will begin walking carrying a 10 grocery bag in my home to practice. Technically, my surgeon does not want me to lift anything 20 lbs or heavier. He doesn’t want me to hop either! I was joking around with my surgeon and asked if I could hop (I was trying to ease into asking if I could do jumping jacks once I am all healed for exercise) and he said absolutely not! There goes my dreams of being a hip hop dancer! I do love dancing and I will consider watching my Tahiti dance training videos instead, hmm! I’ve accepted that my healing process is my own unique journey. When I see older people in their 80’s walking around after knee surgery at my physical therapy place, I only am happy for them. I am not jealous or anything like that, but just truly happy for them. I’m sure they have lovely grandchildren they want to do activities with as they should!
As a girl who grew up in the Amazon who began to learn early on to appreciate my “home” where ever I was at the moment, little did I know I’d grow up with the mentality of being a free spirit. This way of growing up helped me to adapt to places much easier and made me begin my sense of adventure. I’ve moved 18 times so far and traveled to 13 countries (or is it 14?). I’ve loved it. The downside of this, my friends can attest to this too because they have felt the same way, is that you get that 5-7 year itch to move again because you’re so used to moving! Putting down roots somewhere and buying a forever house? Crazy! When I moved with my son in NJ, it was so he could go to a better school or the rent was more appealing in a safer neighborhood. It was mostly to improve life and not so much about my own happiness. I mean, I was happier as a result, but it was not my dream home or place. It’s funny how one’s dreams in your 20’s or even 30’s are mostly for where your job takes your or where you want to get a job. At least it was for me. I don’t think I really sat down and asked myself if I moved if it would be somewhere I could be totally committed to. One of my biggest fears in life was to be bored of where I eventually would settle down. There’s so many gorgeous places I’ve wanted to live at like Lake Como, for example. Being analytical about things in life, I weighed the pros and cons of moving there. Something just didn’t feel right. I think I was almost forcing myself to be excited about it. Lake Como is gorgeous (from the California side) and it offers views of the mountains and lots of outdoor activities. The idea of moving there eventually died somewhere in the halls of other places that I once dreamt about living at. Settling down doesn’t sound so scary anymore. Neither does maybe finding “the one” either as in the person. I’m pretty open to that. Trying to manifest the man of my dreams. I hope he finds me. So come on baby, wherever you are! Wink! I feel like I am at the stage of life where I can finally breathe and think it’s time. No more reindeer games of hopping all over the place. It’s fun while it lasts, but eventually finding a place you can call your home and where you can wake up every single morning and be glad you are where you are…that is a fabulous feeling to have.
I realized finding “the place” must be like finding “the one”. Once you know, you know. And like they say about finding love when you least expect it or not even looking for love, it happens. That’s what happened to me. I found “the place”.
So last week on a normal day of googling something, I was looking at homes because of something else. It was in a State I told myself I would never, EVER move to. No way! I was gobsmacked at the homes I saw and everything the city and suburbs offered. I literally had a Big Fish moment! I couldn’t get over how beautiful and big the homes were and this State has palm trees in it! I thought this city would be boring, dry and deserted, but the city I like is full of lush trees, incredible parks and lakes. I checked out what this particular city offered and it offered everything I could dream of. It was like something clicked in my mind and I thought to myself, “Yes, this is the place!” THIS is the place I want to grow old at. I can see myself happy here for a long time. It’s got a bit of Philadelphia in it, some suburbs remind me of the nice neighborhoods of New Jersey, the weather is nice and sunny…people are nice and the fashion, omg!” Where is this place? Texas baby! I know, I know. Texas just experienced a freak snowstorm and blackouts, but when you find “the place” nothing will stop you. I know things will get better in Texas even though they struggled this past week. Texans are strong people and resilient. I want to buy a home there, but only after renting there for a small amount of time. I’m not saying which city just yet, but believe me, it’s a fun city with so many things that will keep me happy for many years. I don’t know anyone there, but that’s fine. I’m very used to moving and not knowing people. That’s the fun part of starting a new chapter in your life, no? I’ve looked at organizations I can volunteer at and I found one that is unbelievable. I miss working with people and this particular organization is perfect for me. When will I move there? I’d like to say within 2 years or sooner. I’m going by my healing and how mobile I am. My son is gradually warming up to the idea. I did say he can stay in Colorado with his friends if he wants, but he will always have an extra room if he wants to move in with me. I’m crazy about my son, so I’m hoping he’ll move with me too. So far, he likes that there isn’t an income tax in Texas. So that is my life update thus far. I can write more, but I’ve rambled on too long. I’ll try not to be away as much now that I have gained a sense of stability for once in my life. So right now, with this new sense of a permanent life time goal, I feel happy. I’m looking at places to rent down there and comparing prices. I like to plan way ahead so I don’t get stressed doing things last minute. I haven’t felt this excited about the future in probably decades.
Things do get better.
Lots of love. Until next time.
Hope you all are doing alright & hanging in there. Just wanted to pop in quickly & show our ornaments on our new white tree. Each one signifies something important that happened that year for my son & I. I only showed half of the ornaments as not to make the video too long. The blue, red & gold ball ornaments are just decorations, but I am obsessed with them if you couldn’t tell. The wolf signifies the year we visited a wolf sanctuary. The astronaut was the year we visited the space museum in Florida. The sweet black angel was the year I taught drama to 4th grade girls in the inner city of Camden; they also sang a song. I played the flute during my 4th grade year in school in a band so I got the paper ornament of the musical notes. Someone laughed at my crazy looking bunny ornament that I posted a picture of once, so it’s not shown this year even though the funny looking bunny is hanging on the tree at the moment. Yes, I got a bit salty as a result. He will make a glorious return next year on video so everyone can see what my mom gave me when I was 5 yrs old. I love the handmade ornaments my son made when he was just a wee little bundle of joy as a 3 & 5 yr old. He’s 19 now and still very much adorable. He got his ornament this year that summed up the crazy year of 2020; I didn’t show it. Maybe next year. Anyway, have a great day & I’ll catch you later!
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve last wrote on here. I haven’t had the time to sit down and compose a well thought out blog. Surgery for my knee is set for next month if all things fall into place and everything looks good. I’m both excited and nervous, but trying my best to not get further stressed with the coronavirus or should I say covid-19?
So, we are all being told to stay indoors to stop the spread of the virus. You would THINK after all the virus, zombie, monsters & alien invasion movies we all love (hello “Independence Day & War of the Worlds” two of my favorites) that we’d be prepared for such global catastrophic events, but we’re not. Instead we see people going out buying toilet paper and hoarding them. Why? This isn’t a diarrhea type of disease. Doesn’t make sense. I’ve been sitting here analyzing society as a whole and how we deal with things. This is new and something we haven’t experienced at this level. Thankfully, we have technology that allows us to communicate instantly. Imagine how people in towns 30 or 40 years ago would be able to deal with this? People in the past were just as panicked as we are today in the year 2020. Can you imagine someone from this year talking to someone in NYC in the year 1832 when cholera brought the city to a standstill? Same panic albeit we have technology now, which has pros and cons about it. What have we learned? Have we improved our way of dealings with this? I’m not taking this subject lightly as I have asthma and am concerned as I want to be healthy for my surgery. However, the more I think about situations that run around in my head that haven’t happened or will probably never happen, I have learned to control those thoughts. This crisis is not just a physical situation, but also an emotional, mental and financial state of affairs for everyone. I feel like we’ll be going through another phase of panic of financial sorts when people can’t buy food due to not being able to work. Hopefully we won’t reach that point where it will become complete lawlessness.
I like to self motivate myself when I get stressed and I found this lovely video a few days ago. It deals with depression (I don’t have depression) and anxiety. I hope you find it useful! I know I definitely benefited from the counting backwards from 5 for anxiety. It worked for me and will continue to use it.
On a positive note, I have seen compassion and humanity though the mess of greediness and selfishness of society. I love hearing stories of people helping others. Like my favorite quote says, “Where there is life, there is hope“.
We do need to find humor though! We need to laugh, we need to smile.
I’ll be jumping back on WordPress soon. I don’t know when, hopefully when everything has settled down and post surgery. Thank you to my readers and stay strong! A huge welcome to my newest subscribers! Where ever you are, be safe and take care of yourself!
Much love. xoxo
How’s everyone been? So yesterday I was going through my feed on YouTube of recommended videos and I came across something that really opened my eyes.
I usually don’t watch dating videos, but I thought, why not?
I was pleasantly surprised of what I discovered! It now all makes sense why certain past relationships ended badly and others ended amicably. You will discover that there are woundmates & soulmates that you will encounter in life. I must admit, after watching this video, I was a woundmate. I also had relationships with guys who were woundmates as well, which now makes total sense of why it was just drama with them. My last real relationship was 5 years ago, that’s when we broke up on May 2014. We had a 5 year long distance relationship. He was a woundmate and I was in the process of becoming my own soulmate.
I’m now my own soulmate and I now completely understand the differences of wanting to be with someone and the need to be with someone. Once you feel whole within yourself, it becomes easier to choose others who are whole themselves and avoid a disastrous relationship. The older you get, you just want to be happy with yourself, your partner and in general. You don’t want to deal with drama. Relationships aren’t perfect, but this does give a clearer understanding of how to identify a woundmate and why things are going the way they are in your relationship or marriage.
This also will make it quite clear why your partner and yourself are having the easiest relationship you’ve ever had and why the communication is better than you’ve had with anyone else. Congratulations, you’ve met another soulmate.
Here I am summarizing what I learned from the video.
Here is the video explaining in detail the difference between a woundmate & a soulmate.
Credit: Mark Rosenfeld
Thought I’d do something different this time & read some funny missed connections. Please excuse my giggles and severely tripping over some words. I swear I saw words I never knew existed in the fashion world. English is my 3rd language. 😉
I was watching the latest episode of The Bachelorette yesterday and I had to share my opinion about it like everyone on the planet! Watch this clip…
Credit: Bachelor Nation on ABC
What did you notice? A textbook example of when one has a terrible war within themselves of the heart & mind. Clearly we all see what Hannah doesn’t. Luke is a master manipulator and has Hannah in his web. Hannah does want to see the good in him & has given him
a million chances to prove to her how he feels. However, he hasn’t. All Hannah needs is for him to clearly explain how he feels about her.
The last statement made me wonder how deep she truly is confused. “What if I let him go & he’s the one I’m supposed to be with?!”
NO! Anyone who leaves you that confused is not worth your time! A guy who leaves you confused during the time you’re getting to know him so early on is a red flag. Her heart knew what she needed to do thus telling her brain, but her emotions were clouding her reasoning.
I was learning recently the interesting connection of how the heart & brain work together. It may sound incredibly simple & an easy formula for love, but it’s very complex.
When Hannah was around the other guys, she was excited to see them, she was hopping & her voice got higher as a result of a natural connection. That’s normal & how it’s supposed to be when you like someone.
Yes, I know. It’s a reality show. I watch it for character study and to relax.
In other news, I had a fantastic appointment with my neurosurgeon today. I had a follow up at his northern office near Denver so he could see how well my surgery site was healing. The neurosurgeon took one look, stated it looked “beautiful”. It made me giggle because the past month that’s all I’ve heard from all the nurses, doctors, Physical & Occupational Therapists. The neurosurgeon was the last person to see it and clearly was pleased. The surgical scar is thin as a thread. I thought it would be a 6 inch scar with 1 inch in width, but it’s actually very, very thin! Eventually it will fade, but I’ll proudly show it off! I don’t care! Battle scars is in vogue according to me! I also no longer have restrictions (bending, lifting or twisting) and have been cleared to do strength exercises from my PT who has been coming to my house the past 3 weeks. I do need one more MRI (not STAT) for the neurosurgeon to see how the spinal cord is healing. He just wants to make sure it hasn’t shifted or anything, but overall says he has no concern of how I’m healing or walking. Everyday I see little improvements and it gets me so excited! After the knee surgery next year, cleared by my orthopaedic surgeon to do physical activities & am walking fine, I will try indoor sky diving up in Denver. I’m not going to go crazy with doing things, I’ll still behave and take precautions. The thirst is real to being the adventurous & free spirited girl I’ve always been. For several months I wondered why this was happening, but I think I know why now & I’m at peace with it. It makes sense & it’s a beautiful thing.
Credit: Sierra Club
What’s going on? Anything interesting happening in your lives?
Just an update on my recovery of my back surgery. It’s been exactly 33 days since surgery. At my follow up my nurse said I was recovering extremely well & my suture looks really good. I’m so glad to be home! Two weeks & two days at home, but it feels longer. The first week I had to really watch how much my body could take because I was feeling so tired. I would maybe put the dishes away & load another and be tired for the rest of the day. Now, I can do a 4 or 5 things before I get tired. I see things that have to be done, but they can wait. I’m walking better and my Physical Therapist and I are working on my balance to strengthen my legs & core.
Throughout this whole ordeal I’ve discovered something about myself. I’m extremely challenging to myself to the point where people have to remind me to slow down. If the PT says 10 exercises for my feet, I’ll do 30. There is one exercise where I have to see how long I can stand with my eyes closed. Right now my ears and mind are the only things helping me to stand, but not my feet. She says this normal because when you have back surgery it messes with your balance. So I stood beside my bed one night. I was naughty and did this by myself because I’m supposed to do it with her around. The first time I could stand with eyes closed for 18 seconds. Then I was able to stand for 33 seconds. I kept falling back on my bed each time. I was so determined to get past 1 minute. I got so close one time to 57 seconds before falling back into bed. I kept falling, but kept getting back up. Persistent much? Finally, I just told myself to focus & relax and I stood with my eyes closed for 1 minute and 28 seconds. I was so happy! It was midnight, but I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I’m not used to struggling with things I never had to struggle with before.
I have good & bad days like everyone else. Having emotions I never had to deal with before. I wasn’t sure if I acting normal or not with my feelings. I started watching YouTube videos of other people who went through similar back surgery & I discovered I’m not alone in my feelings. All my fears, trepidation, frustrations, concerns, loneliness & sometimes sadness is normal they all said. I watched so many inspirational videos who just never gave up & worked their butts off to recover. This is the new life I have to adapt for now. It’s a 360 of what I’m used to, but I’m making the best of it. I’m learning to reach out to my closest friends when I need to. I actually posted about my surgery on FB for the first time in a long time. I got lots of encouragement from my dearest friends who are personal friends of mine. I’m so used to being independent & not bothering people with anything I’m going through. I feel like maybe people won’t care. I’m glad I was smothered by kindness from my dear friends, it really made me feel better.
I posted a picture of a mountain and a highway. This picture represents something to me metaphorically. The mountain represents a particular goal of working towards something monumental. I figured out I live 63,390 feet away from our mountain Pikes Peak. I chose the little cute mountain town called Manitou Springs as my ending point. Manitou Springs is basically at the bottom of a mountain. My goal is to walk as much as I can every day to walk that many feet. It takes someone 4 hours to walk from my home to Manitou Springs. Having a goal of walking 63,390 feet motivates me every day to achieve that goal.
I was looking at this particular picture and wondered what if someone came up to me & asked, “Are you ready to walk to reach that mountain? You’ll have days where your legs will hurt or the weather won’t agree with you, but that’s your end goal. It won’t be easy. Stay focused. Keep putting your feet moving forward, don’t look back. Pace yourself, don’t run. How much do you want that mountain?”
I’m ready. Gosh, it’s such a long road! Sigh. The road looks so long. Two years to be exact. Remember I still have knee surgery next year which will include physical therapy once again. That will be 63,390 feet back home from the mountain.
Often I ask myself what is life trying to teach me. Everything happens for a reason. One of the things I’m learning is how much I need to give credit to myself. I don’t give myself enough credit for a lot of things, people often have to tell me how brave & strong I have been. I don’t see that. I need to remind myself that I am indeed strong & brave.
But I’ve had some laughs & good days more than bad days. I don’t blame anyone or anything. I’m learning to really listen to my body and rest when I need to. My PT today said I needed one more month until I could go exercise in the pool. I miss working out! I’m just glad I’m not taking any narcotics for my pain. I just take ibroprofin. My pain isn’t that bad where I need to take the hard core pain meds. Those side effects are no joke!
My birthday is next Tuesday & I’m excited! I’m still deciding what I want to eat. We’ll stay home as usual and celebrate. My son loves baking so he’ll bake me a cake. I might have my favorite Brazilian restaurant/store near Denver overnight a Brazilian meal. I’m still trying to get a store from Jersey to ship frozen panzarottis! I’m going crazy here because I haven’t had one in years! 🤭 I’m obsessed about panzarottis. Panzarottis are a local Jersey delicacy.
Thanks for reading about my update!
It’s been a minute, how’s everybody? So let’s watch a clip of one of my favorite super heroes. Dr. Strange, coolest dude on the block. I’m all about time travel and all things quantum physics.
Credit: Movie Buff
So exactly last week I met my Neurosurgeon for the first time, after waiting 4 weeks just to see him. After speaking to me & doing some tests on my feet, he was very concerned about why my brain signals weren’t going to my feet. All my past MRIs had been of my lower back to my knees. I think he might’ve thought I had a brain or neck tumor. He ordered an MRI STAT of my upper back and neck. I was only able to get an appointment the next day, an MRI with dye that took an hour in that space capsule. Within 15 minutes his neurosurgeon assistant called me to tell me my spinal cord was being crushed and that I had spinal stenosis of the thoracic. I also needed an immediate surgery (thoracic laminectomy) that Friday! Wednesday within hours of the MRI I had a presurgery nurse call me to tell me what medications to stop and what not to eat etc. Everything was moving so fast I wasn’t given much time to take it all in. Of course, I was nervous and scared. I was more scared of going under anesthesia.
So this Dr. Strange clip reminded me of how immediate my neurosurgeon wanted to do an urgent surgery on me. He saw something on the MRI results that were serious and did something, thus saving my life in a way.
Friday came and I kept calm. My son came to help me walk and then took an Uber all the way back to school, about 50 minutes South. I went to a hospital a few minutes South of Denver, Parker, to be exact.
I told the nurses that I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up after surgery. They must’ve snuck in a pill to knock me out because the last I remember was the nurses telling each other I needed a surgery cap. Next thing I know I’m being awakened by the neurosurgeon assistant asking how I was feeling. I apparently slept longer than expected. The surgery took longer than expected because during the surgery part of my spinal cord that was attached to the bone got a hole or tore while one of the bones was being removed. The neurosurgeon had to then stitch up the spinal cord as a result. Before I was discharged from the hospital I got another MRI and it showed the spinal cord healing, but looked bruised which is expected.
After a few days, I was referred to a rehabilitation near my home. Most rehabilitations were filled up and I would’ve had to go to a rehab in Littleton which is even farther up North from my home, if none were available near me. So the ambulance ride to this rehab I’m at now was entertaining. Lol. A paramedic was teaching a student paramedic things. They joked with me the entire ride. It was my first time riding in an ambulance! They even charged my phone during the ride, so sweet.
I get 1.5 hours of Occupational Therapy once a day. Same with Physical Therapy. I’ve improved greatly, but it’s a struggle. I’ve had to deal with throbbing headaches most days. On good days I just have a bad headache. My back hurts and aches a lot. My walking has improved as well. The first time meeting a Physical Therapist I cried. It all was too much. I was in pain and my legs were so weak, I almost fell. I had to scoot on a board from the bed to the wheelchair. She was incredibly compassionate and encouraged me a lot. She said I was there to improve and that to give it time. I felt better afterwards.
I now can get out of bed using a walker to get in my wheelchair and now can use a walker to walk to the bathroom. I can stand using my own strength to stand up on my own just to brush my teeth. I’m learning how to step up to use stairs. Everyone here are so incredibly encouraging and sweet. One of the nurses said I was one of everyone’s favorite patients here at rehab. They say I’m always happy and friendly. I’m only able to be that way due to my incredible friends who have been there for me every step of the way, even on days I was suffering through so much pain. Luckily there’s this thing called Percocet that has helped me a lot.
So that’s my life. My son’s prom was last Saturday and he came in to say hello all dressed up in his suit. His bestfriend took these pictures of him after he visited me. The silver & purple ring he’s wearing is his grandmother’s. My son wears it a lot to feel that his grandmother is there with him in spirit. He says he’ll wear it on graduation day. I’ll be wearing one of her rings too on that day so I feel she’s there in spirit too.
The next day was Mother’s Day and he came to spend some time with me. Usually he makes me breakfast in bed, but sadly not this year. He made brownies & brought some for me because I’m crazy about them. Everytime we make food for each other, we tell each other we made it with love. I miss making homemade meals for my son, but discharge is next Tuesday-the day before his graduation. I’ll have to rent or buy a wheelchair to see him graduate. Seeing my son graduate has been a huge motivation for all the pain & suffering I’m going through now during rehabilitation. I want to be strong enough to see my son walk up and receive his diploma. I was sad I’ve missed other important things he’s had that I couldn’t attend the past 4 months. Today is his last day of school. I would’ve done something after school to celebrate, but we’ll celebrate later during summer. It will be a waterproof mascara day, that’s for sure for graduation day.
This morning I texted my son saying good morning & that he did it! He completed 12 years of school, that I was so proud of him & that I love him so so much. He can’t wait til I come home, he’s been missing me a lot.
I’ll be home soon baby.