What is happening?!

Hi guys!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve last wrote on here. I haven’t had the time to sit down and compose a well thought out blog. Surgery for my knee is set for next month if all things fall into place and everything looks good. I’m both excited and nervous, but trying my best to not get further stressed with the coronavirus or should I say covid-19?

So, we are all being told to stay indoors to stop the spread of the virus. You would THINK after all the virus, zombie, monsters & alien invasion movies we all love (hello “Independence Day & War of the Worlds” two of my favorites) that we’d be prepared for such global catastrophic events, but we’re not. Instead we see people going out buying toilet paper and hoarding them. Why? This isn’t a diarrhea type of disease. Doesn’t make sense. I’ve been sitting here analyzing society as a whole and how we deal with things. This is new and something we haven’t experienced at this level. Thankfully, we have technology that allows us to communicate instantly. Imagine how people in towns 30 or 40 years ago would be able to deal with this? People in the past were just as panicked as we are today in the year 2020. Can you imagine someone from this year talking to someone in NYC in the year 1832 when cholera brought the city to a standstill? Same panic albeit we have technology now, which has pros and cons about it. What have we learned? Have we improved our way of dealings with this? I’m not taking this subject lightly as I have asthma and am concerned as I want to be healthy for my surgery. However, the more I think about situations that run around in my head that haven’t happened or will probably never happen, I have learned to control those thoughts. This crisis is not just a physical situation, but also an emotional, mental and financial state of affairs for everyone. I feel like we’ll be going through another phase of panic of financial sorts when people can’t buy food due to not being able to work. Hopefully we won’t reach that point where it will become complete lawlessness.

I like to self motivate myself when I get stressed and I found this lovely video a few days ago. It deals with depression (I don’t have depression) and anxiety. I hope you find it useful! I know I definitely benefited from the counting backwards from 5 for anxiety. It worked for me and will continue to use it.

Credit: Motivation2Study

On a positive note, I have seen compassion and humanity though the mess of greediness and selfishness of society. I love hearing stories of people helping others. Like my favorite quote says, “Where there is life, there is hope“.

Credit: GuardianNews

We do need to find humor though! We need to laugh, we need to smile.

I’ll be jumping back on WordPress soon. I don’t know when, hopefully when everything has settled down and post surgery. Thank you to my readers and stay strong! A huge welcome to my newest subscribers! Where ever you are, be safe and take care of yourself!

Much love. xoxo

What kind of person are you attracting?

Hey everyone!

How’s everyone been? So yesterday I was going through my feed on YouTube of recommended videos and I came across something that really opened my eyes.

I usually don’t watch dating videos, but I thought, why not?

I was pleasantly surprised of what I discovered! It now all makes sense why certain past relationships ended badly and others ended amicably. You will discover that there are woundmates & soulmates that you will encounter in life. I must admit, after watching this video, I was a woundmate. I also had relationships with guys who were woundmates as well, which now makes total sense of why it was just drama with them. My last real relationship was 5 years ago, that’s when we broke up on May 2014. We had a 5 year long distance relationship. He was a woundmate and I was in the process of becoming my own soulmate.

I’m now my own soulmate and I now completely understand the differences of wanting to be with someone and the need to be with someone. Once you feel whole within yourself, it becomes easier to choose others who are whole themselves and avoid a disastrous relationship. The older you get, you just want to be happy with yourself, your partner and in general. You don’t want to deal with drama. Relationships aren’t perfect, but this does give a clearer understanding of how to identify a woundmate and why things are going the way they are in your relationship or marriage.

This also will make it quite clear why your partner and yourself are having the easiest relationship you’ve ever had and why the communication is better than you’ve had with anyone else. Congratulations, you’ve met another soulmate.

Here I am summarizing what I learned from the video.

Here is the video explaining in detail the difference between a woundmate & a soulmate.

Credit: Mark Rosenfeld

When your heart & brain are at war!


I was watching the latest episode of The Bachelorette yesterday and I had to share my opinion about it like everyone on the planet! Watch this clip…

Credit: Bachelor Nation on ABC

What did you notice? A textbook example of when one has a terrible war within themselves of the heart & mind. Clearly we all see what Hannah doesn’t. Luke is a master manipulator and has Hannah in his web. Hannah does want to see the good in him & has given him a million chances to prove to her how he feels. However, he hasn’t. All Hannah needs is for him to clearly explain how he feels about her.

The last statement made me wonder how deep she truly is confused. “What if I let him go & he’s the one I’m supposed to be with?!”

NO! Anyone who leaves you that confused is not worth your time! A guy who leaves you confused during the time you’re getting to know him so early on is a red flag. Her heart knew what she needed to do thus telling her brain, but her emotions were clouding her reasoning.

I was learning recently the interesting connection of how the heart & brain work together. It may sound incredibly simple & an easy formula for love, but it’s very complex.

When Hannah was around the other guys, she was excited to see them, she was hopping & her voice got higher as a result of a natural connection. That’s normal & how it’s supposed to be when you like someone.

Yes, I know. It’s a reality show. I watch it for character study and to relax.

In other news, I had a fantastic appointment with my neurosurgeon today. I had a follow up at his northern office near Denver so he could see how well my surgery site was healing. The neurosurgeon took one look, stated it looked “beautiful”. It made me giggle because the past month that’s all I’ve heard from all the nurses, doctors, Physical & Occupational Therapists. The neurosurgeon was the last person to see it and clearly was pleased. The surgical scar is thin as a thread. I thought it would be a 6 inch scar with 1 inch in width, but it’s actually very, very thin! Eventually it will fade, but I’ll proudly show it off! I don’t care! Battle scars is in vogue according to me! I also no longer have restrictions (bending, lifting or twisting) and have been cleared to do strength exercises from my PT who has been coming to my house the past 3 weeks. I do need one more MRI (not STAT) for the neurosurgeon to see how the spinal cord is healing. He just wants to make sure it hasn’t shifted or anything, but overall says he has no concern of how I’m healing or walking. Everyday I see little improvements and it gets me so excited! After the knee surgery next year, cleared by my orthopaedic surgeon to do physical activities & am walking fine, I will try indoor sky diving up in Denver. I’m not going to go crazy with doing things, I’ll still behave and take precautions. The thirst is real to being the adventurous & free spirited girl I’ve always been. For several months I wondered why this was happening, but I think I know why now & I’m at peace with it. It makes sense & it’s a beautiful thing.

xoxo 💋



Road to recovery…

Credit: Sierra Club


What’s going on? Anything interesting happening in your lives?

Just an update on my recovery of my back surgery. It’s been exactly 33 days since surgery. At my follow up my nurse said I was recovering extremely well & my suture looks really good. I’m so glad to be home! Two weeks & two days at home, but it feels longer. The first week I had to really watch how much my body could take because I was feeling so tired. I would maybe put the dishes away & load another and be tired for the rest of the day. Now, I can do a 4 or 5 things before I get tired. I see things that have to be done, but they can wait. I’m walking better and my Physical Therapist and I are working on my balance to strengthen my legs & core.

Throughout this whole ordeal I’ve discovered something about myself. I’m extremely challenging to myself to the point where people have to remind me to slow down. If the PT says 10 exercises for my feet, I’ll do 30. There is one exercise where I have to see how long I can stand with my eyes closed. Right now my ears and mind are the only things helping me to stand, but not my feet. She says this normal because when you have back surgery it messes with your balance. So I stood beside my bed one night. I was naughty and did this by myself because I’m supposed to do it with her around. The first time I could stand with eyes closed for 18 seconds. Then I was able to stand for 33 seconds. I kept falling back on my bed each time. I was so determined to get past 1 minute. I got so close one time to 57 seconds before falling back into bed. I kept falling, but kept getting back up. Persistent much? Finally, I just told myself to focus & relax and I stood with my eyes closed for 1 minute and 28 seconds. I was so happy! It was midnight, but I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I’m not used to struggling with things I never had to struggle with before.

I have good & bad days like everyone else. Having emotions I never had to deal with before. I wasn’t sure if I acting normal or not with my feelings. I started watching YouTube videos of other people who went through similar back surgery & I discovered I’m not alone in my feelings. All my fears, trepidation, frustrations, concerns, loneliness & sometimes sadness is normal they all said. I watched so many inspirational videos who just never gave up & worked their butts off to recover. This is the new life I have to adapt for now. It’s a 360 of what I’m used to, but I’m making the best of it. I’m learning to reach out to my closest friends when I need to. I actually posted about my surgery on FB for the first time in a long time. I got lots of encouragement from my dearest friends who are personal friends of mine. I’m so used to being independent & not bothering people with anything I’m going through. I feel like maybe people won’t care. I’m glad I was smothered by kindness from my dear friends, it really made me feel better.

I posted a picture of a mountain and a highway. This picture represents something to me metaphorically. The mountain represents a particular goal of working towards something monumental. I figured out I live 63,390 feet away from our mountain Pikes Peak. I chose the little cute mountain town called Manitou Springs as my ending point. Manitou Springs is basically at the bottom of a mountain. My goal is to walk as much as I can every day to walk that many feet. It takes someone 4 hours to walk from my home to Manitou Springs. Having a goal of walking 63,390 feet motivates me every day to achieve that goal.

I was looking at this particular picture and wondered what if someone came up to me & asked, “Are you ready to walk to reach that mountain? You’ll have days where your legs will hurt or the weather won’t agree with you, but that’s your end goal. It won’t be easy. Stay focused. Keep putting your feet moving forward, don’t look back. Pace yourself, don’t run. How much do you want that mountain?”

A lot.

I’m ready. Gosh, it’s such a long road! Sigh. The road looks so long. Two years to be exact. Remember I still have knee surgery next year which will include physical therapy once again. That will be 63,390 feet back home from the mountain.

Often I ask myself what is life trying to teach me. Everything happens for a reason. One of the things I’m learning is how much I need to give credit to myself. I don’t give myself enough credit for a lot of things, people often have to tell me how brave & strong I have been. I don’t see that. I need to remind myself that I am indeed strong & brave.

But I’ve had some laughs & good days more than bad days. I don’t blame anyone or anything. I’m learning to really listen to my body and rest when I need to. My PT today said I needed one more month until I could go exercise in the pool. I miss working out! I’m just glad I’m not taking any narcotics for my pain. I just take ibroprofin. My pain isn’t that bad where I need to take the hard core pain meds. Those side effects are no joke!

My birthday is next Tuesday & I’m excited! I’m still deciding what I want to eat. We’ll stay home as usual and celebrate. My son loves baking so he’ll bake me a cake. I might have my favorite Brazilian restaurant/store near Denver overnight a Brazilian meal. I’m still trying to get a store from Jersey to ship frozen panzarottis! I’m going crazy here because I haven’t had one in years! 🤭 I’m obsessed about panzarottis. Panzarottis are a local Jersey delicacy.

Thanks for reading about my update!

xoxo 💋

Emergency Spinal Surgery!

Hey everyone!

It’s been a minute, how’s everybody? So let’s watch a clip of one of my favorite super heroes. Dr. Strange, coolest dude on the block. I’m all about time travel and all things quantum physics.

Credit: Movie Buff

So exactly last week I met my Neurosurgeon for the first time, after waiting 4 weeks just to see him. After speaking to me & doing some tests on my feet, he was very concerned about why my brain signals weren’t going to my feet. All my past MRIs had been of my lower back to my knees. I think he might’ve thought I had a brain or neck tumor. He ordered an MRI STAT of my upper back and neck. I was only able to get an appointment the next day, an MRI with dye that took an hour in that space capsule. Within 15 minutes his neurosurgeon assistant called me to tell me my spinal cord was being crushed and that I had spinal stenosis of the thoracic. I also needed an immediate surgery (thoracic laminectomy) that Friday! Wednesday within hours of the MRI I had a presurgery nurse call me to tell me what medications to stop and what not to eat etc. Everything was moving so fast I wasn’t given much time to take it all in. Of course, I was nervous and scared. I was more scared of going under anesthesia.

So this Dr. Strange clip reminded me of how immediate my neurosurgeon wanted to do an urgent surgery on me. He saw something on the MRI results that were serious and did something, thus saving my life in a way.

Friday came and I kept calm. My son came to help me walk and then took an Uber all the way back to school, about 50 minutes South. I went to a hospital a few minutes South of Denver, Parker, to be exact.

I told the nurses that I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up after surgery. They must’ve snuck in a pill to knock me out because the last I remember was the nurses telling each other I needed a surgery cap. Next thing I know I’m being awakened by the neurosurgeon assistant asking how I was feeling. I apparently slept longer than expected. The surgery took longer than expected because during the surgery part of my spinal cord that was attached to the bone got a hole or tore while one of the bones was being removed. The neurosurgeon had to then stitch up the spinal cord as a result. Before I was discharged from the hospital I got another MRI and it showed the spinal cord healing, but looked bruised which is expected.

After a few days, I was referred to a rehabilitation near my home. Most rehabilitations were filled up and I would’ve had to go to a rehab in Littleton which is even farther up North from my home, if none were available near me. So the ambulance ride to this rehab I’m at now was entertaining. Lol. A paramedic was teaching a student paramedic things. They joked with me the entire ride. It was my first time riding in an ambulance! They even charged my phone during the ride, so sweet.

I get 1.5 hours of Occupational Therapy once a day. Same with Physical Therapy. I’ve improved greatly, but it’s a struggle. I’ve had to deal with throbbing headaches most days. On good days I just have a bad headache. My back hurts and aches a lot. My walking has improved as well. The first time meeting a Physical Therapist I cried. It all was too much. I was in pain and my legs were so weak, I almost fell. I had to scoot on a board from the bed to the wheelchair. She was incredibly compassionate and encouraged me a lot. She said I was there to improve and that to give it time. I felt better afterwards.

I now can get out of bed using a walker to get in my wheelchair and now can use a walker to walk to the bathroom. I can stand using my own strength to stand up on my own just to brush my teeth. I’m learning how to step up to use stairs. Everyone here are so incredibly encouraging and sweet. One of the nurses said I was one of everyone’s favorite patients here at rehab. They say I’m always happy and friendly. I’m only able to be that way due to my incredible friends who have been there for me every step of the way, even on days I was suffering through so much pain. Luckily there’s this thing called Percocet that has helped me a lot.

So that’s my life. My son’s prom was last Saturday and he came in to say hello all dressed up in his suit. His bestfriend took these pictures of him after he visited me. The silver & purple ring he’s wearing is his grandmother’s. My son wears it a lot to feel that his grandmother is there with him in spirit. He says he’ll wear it on graduation day. I’ll be wearing one of her rings too on that day so I feel she’s there in spirit too.

The next day was Mother’s Day and he came to spend some time with me. Usually he makes me breakfast in bed, but sadly not this year. He made brownies & brought some for me because I’m crazy about them. Everytime we make food for each other, we tell each other we made it with love. I miss making homemade meals for my son, but discharge is next Tuesday-the day before his graduation. I’ll have to rent or buy a wheelchair to see him graduate. Seeing my son graduate has been a huge motivation for all the pain & suffering I’m going through now during rehabilitation. I want to be strong enough to see my son walk up and receive his diploma. I was sad I’ve missed other important things he’s had that I couldn’t attend the past 4 months. Today is his last day of school. I would’ve done something after school to celebrate, but we’ll celebrate later during summer. It will be a waterproof mascara day, that’s for sure for graduation day.

This morning I texted my son saying good morning & that he did it! He completed 12 years of school, that I was so proud of him & that I love him so so much. He can’t wait til I come home, he’s been missing me a lot.

I’ll be home soon baby.


Day 31. March Blog Challenge

Credit: Pinterest

What word would you sum up for the past month?


If you don’t have dreams, there’s no hope or motivation. What’s your dream job? Where’s your dream location to live? Dream house? Dream man/woman? Dream vacation?

It doesn’t necessarily have to have the word dream in what you want in life, but maybe a little desire & there’s nothing wrong in wanting to pursue it. To live life with “2nd best” isn’t motivating at all. You deserve better than that. To go after something your heart truly desires & that you know will make you happy (most everyone wants to find happiness), by all means, go for it. This doesn’t exclude those of us who are already rich in love, live in a nice hime, have a happy family & community. Even the happiest people on earth have dreams & it might surprise you what it is! Quietly wonders what Tibetan monks dream about…

Anyways, this past month has had me think of little things I want to do in the near future. This has motivated me a lot on days that I have felt discouraged. I was telling my Twitter followers how I often feel like a wild horse. Wild horses run free. I have felt pent up lately. When I can’t really go anywhere, I feel down. I’m not used to it & the pain hurts to walk. So I enjoy researching things & prices. It brings up my spirit & I get excited. I try to fulfill a dream of mine once a year. Guess what my dream is for this year? I’m hoping I can do it when my Aunt Debbie comes here in May, but if not, sometime this year.

I want to go on a train ride. I’ve romanticized it enough after watching “Before Sunrise” a billion times. Thought I’d add this little clip from the movie. Celine, the character, is my spirit animal. Yes, I know. She’s not an animal, but you get what I’m trying to say. Lol. In life, you sometimes just have to take risks & see where it takes you!

Credit: FilmStruck

I think it would be fun to eat, walk around & take pictures of the ride. Who knows, maybe in the future we might take a train ride in Canada or up in Alaska. My son was obsessed with Thomas The Tank Engine as a kid, so he enjoys trains. Colorado is gorgeous, so I’m sure the views will be spectacular!

Credit: ColoradoAttractions

Well, it’s been fun. My laptop died 2 months ago, so blogging with my index finger on my phone all month was a little challenging because I’m usually a very fast typist on the keyboard. Catch you at my next blog post!

xoxo 🚂🚃🚃🚃 💕

Day 30. March Blog Challenge

What’s something new you want to try?

Hi everybody,

How’s your Saturday going so far? There are several things I want to try. However, there is something my friend & her boyfriend tried 2 years ago in Denver that I am so jealous that they did. I will never, ever skydive so indoor skydiving is all I can handle. Besides, I am terrified of heights. She said they had a lot of fun & once I get the go ahead from my doctor after months of physical therapy, you best believe I’m heading up to Denver to check out this place!

Credit: iFly

xoxo 🦋

Day 28. March Blog Challenge

What is your favorite quality in a person?

Hello my loves!

The month is coming to a close in a few days. I can’t believe April is already around the corner! March has been kind to me for the most part. Some days when I feel disappointed in how slow everything is progressing towards surgery, I remind myself to stay positive. Today I went to my doctor to get a referral to see a Neurosurgeon. Looks like I might need a little nerve decompression surgery to fix a pinched nerve in my lower back. This has to be taken care of before my knee surgery. So that means 1-3 weeks of recovery from that before the knee replacement. So, now I wait to hear from the Neurosurgeon in a few days to go meet him. But even before that, I need another MRI. This will be my 3rd time since last August. I actually like getting an MRI. It’s relaxing despite the loud clicking sounds. Thank God for headphones & listening to 80’s music.

One of the qualities I love about a person, but takes time to discover is consistency. Why is consistency such a hard quality to find in anyone? I’m not just talking in relationships, but in coworkers, family, potential friends etc. Consistancy is like the holy grail.

I’m the type of person who needs consistency. Consistency means a feeling of knowing I can depend on someone to be there for me, trust in their judgment & advice as well as companionship. I don’t care if you travel the world every week, but as long as I know you’re there for me via phone, skype that’s all that matters. In a chaotic world, it is nice to know someone will be there for you. I’ve had people say to me that they will be there for me, but they only end up ghosting me for whatever reason. That just shows me their true character. But I’ve also had friends who have remained consistent throughout my life & that truly is something to celebrate about. I do regularly tell those friends thank you. I never take their friendship for granted.

xoxo 🍕

Day 25. March Blog Challenge 🤖

What were your favorite childhood toys and shows growing up?

Hi there buttercups!

I’ve been super busy doing things. One of them is organizing about 3,000 photos online in categories so it’s easier to make videos and things like that. Plus, I have 7 USBs I had to go through. This has taken me hours as I’m also uploading them on Onedrive. Ok, so I was going to post pictures of my favorite toys growing up, but I thought it would be easier to show commercials of them instead. Walking down memory lane my loves! Right this way!

Cabbage Patch Kids!

I was a little late to the game in regards to owning one, but I did finally get one as a present.

Credit: AnainCA

Slip’n Slide

This was a lot of fun! Good times!


Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood

Don’t the first few notes of the intro make you feel like a little kid again? You’re suddenly transported to a time in your life where you felt special, even though the man talking to you in that soft spoken voice was in the tv? I really enjoyed his shows. I especially loved the adorable red trolley and King Friday and his court. There was always drama with them! Isn’t it amazing how shows influence your interest as you get older? I still love trains & trolleys to this day & I follow the royal family in England too.

Credit: Christian Michael Corenza

Reading Rainbow

Such a great show! Those days reminded me of the book catalog where you could buy books from. I used to love the magazine for kids called Highlights because they had poetry and drawings of kids from all over the country. I believe this was where my love of poetry stems from.

Credit: Hilbenhousen Industries

My Little Pony

Well, my pony was raised in the tropics! I would braid my pony’s tail and make makeshift boats for my pony to ride in. It rained heavily everyday in Brazil so there were always little streams my pony would sail on or if I was feeling especially adventurous, we’d play in mud. I would make sand castles on the beach for my pony and we’d go swimming together in the ocean & pool.

Credit: 80sCommercialsForever

Snoopy Snowcone Machine

Snoopy is the original gansta, the G. What kid doesn’t love snow cones? I never stopped & when my son was old enough to work the machine on his own, I got one! It’s in storage in New Jersey I believe. We would have a lot of fun making our own snowcones. I’m such a hipster mom!

Credit: Steve Betancourt

Scooby Doo

I was mesmerized by this show! The show was funny, but there were still some parts that scared me! It wasn’t too horrifically scary, but just enough to watch it with a blanket near my chin ready to hide under for the scary parts. Maybe the show was preparing me for when I’d actually end up living in several haunted homes! Surprisingly, my son & I watch horror movies and laugh throughout the movie! We’ve had so many ghostly experiences we shake our heads & think that’s not what happens! My son grew up watching Scooby Doo & wanted shirts with Scooby Doo on them.

Credit: TITRO99

80’s tv toy, cereal commercials

I will leave these commercials as a walk down memory lane. Maybe you’ll see something on this video which will make you say, “Oh yeah! I remember playing with that!”

Credit: 80sCommercialVault

xoxo 🤖