How To Discuss a Hard Topic with your Partner

Hey guys!

Tis, I. I have returned. I see I have some new subscribers and it makes me happy. So thank you & welcome!

I’m sure you have seen the video of Gabby Petito and her fiance when they were stopped by the police officer. In the video, Gabby is seen visibly upset when speaking to the officer because she and her fiance had been “fighting” all morning. The officer first made sure the environment was safe for him & for her. He told her to step out of the car and speak to him alone & away from her fiance. This was a smart move and I’ll explain why.

If a hard topic is to be brought up between two people in a relationship and you both know it could turn heated, then the first thing you need to do is:

REGULATE YOUR BODY

Gabby was away and began to speak to the officer. From the video, you can see Gabby start to regulate her body as I am sure her heartrate was up and body tense from arguing. The officer offered her to sit in his car so she could cool off, “relax a little bit”. Basically, he was helping her regulate her body. Obviously, starting a hard topic in the middle of jogging or doing strenuous work, is not the smartest move when beginning a hard topic with your significant other. Your body is already working overdrive and your thoughts won’t be as clear. Make sure your significant other is already calm and relaxed. Of course, make sure you are as well. If you need to take 10 deep breathes (4 seconds in, 4 seconds out), just do it. Even if it’s in front of your partner. You can do them together.

ADDRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Even though the officer & Gabby were strangers, he acknowledged her interests and made her feel good and important. In the police body cam you can hear Gabby state she wanted to start a YouTube channel and start blogging. Being a blogger myself for many years, I can understand her excitement to want to speak to the world of her thoughts on a blogging platform and connect with strangers from all over the world. Unfortunately, Gabby stated that her fiance was not supportive of her dream to become a Youtuber or blogger. He was not addressing the importance of her nor of her future dreams. The officer readily told Gabby that she was not in trouble and was not getting arrested. This is very important too when beginning discussing a hard topic. Addressing the importance of the relationship is vital as it makes the other person feel important and not attacked and get in defense mode. This gives the person the feeling of being safe around you & that you are working as team to discuss the hard topic. The officer did this by reinforcing that Gabby was safe (at that moment) and she was not in trouble. He wanted her to know they were a team working together to resolve this problem she and her fiance were facing at that moment. This should not feel like a boxing match where both people are on opposite sides. Hard topics can be cheating, divorce, telling someone their loved one passed away etc.

DISCUSS SAFELY

This can mean 2 things. Never discuss hard topics in an environment that could turn deadly such as kitchen, on a bridge or near a waterfall. You get the picture. I am not saying get in a padded room, but going somewhere quiet and far from anything that can be used against you if it does get out of control is important. Using words that conjure up negativity will only bring on the defense mode especially for topics about cheating & divorce or even each other’s mother-in-laws. Begin with words like “I” and “This is how I’m feeling about this…”. Validate their feelings, which may be very hard if you are discussing how you caught them cheating on you. Remember, this may sound almost unreal and probably level of impossibility, but it’s just a general way of making sure you and they are in a safe environment with little (if you can help it) to no blame with words.

Healthy problem solving takes practice and not everyone goes into a new relationship with that mindset. Some may come into a new relationship from an abusive relationship and have no idea how to problem solve with you on your first fight as a couple. The good thing is that anyone can learn to problem solve as team and do it in a healthy way;

What inspired me to write this particular topic was because of how Gabby and her fiance could have learned this approach to fighting or arguing and not have gotten into what ended in tragedy. Relationships are not perfect nor should they. But learning to understand each other before a hard topic can create a lower outcome of a very negative situation for both parties.

So here is a recent picture of me. I took this picture on September 24 ,2021. I had gone out earlier to see the sunset, but my weather app lied to me once again and the sun was already over the mountains. By 20 minutes, I missed the sunset! It was still light outside, but the sky was getting dark. Oh well, next time.

Until next time my loves. Take care of yourselves and each other, especially when it comes to discussing hard topics. RIP Gabby.

Much love.

x

That view!

Hi guys!

So nice to see you all! A special hello to my new subscribers! I see you & want to welcome you with a great big hug! Stick around!

I got a new iphone about 3 weeks ago and I’m having fun playing with its features. I used to use the OG Movie Maker, remember that? But they don’t make it like they used to. So, I decided to get the app Adobe premiere and used it to edit my video. Here it is. It’s my first time using my new iphone to edit, so don’t laugh! I’m like a toddler with my editing skills on my iphone. It will get better, I promise. I wasn’t trying to be perfect in today’s video, I just wanted to shoot something and upload it. It took me a while to find the perfect song to go along with this vimeo video. In other news, wait until you see where I’ll be in November! It will blow your mind and my iphone will capture it all! It cost a pretty penny to get tickets, but it has been my dream to go to it for the past 2 years!

Take a ride with us as we ride around my favorite street, Peterson Road. Gosh, I love this road so much.

Maybe next time I’ll take you guys on a ride to one of my favorite parks. The views are amazing because the park is high above the town. Stay tuned.

I decided to add this photo of myself I took a few days ago to remind myself that even though some days can be frustrating (throw in some headaches & migraines), to know that it’s only temporary. I was really happy about something the day this photo was taken (can’t remember what since most of the time I’m happy lol), but today I felt a bit frustrated and stressed about a couple things. It’s been crazy windy here today and my eyes were suffering as a result. I’ll be back soon, hopefully with a park video! Take care.

Sorry! I didn’t know my video would be so big! Apologies for seeing my mug so huge! I don’t know how to make it smaller.

Messy hair, don’t care. 😉

That’s what she said

Credit: VideoClips

Hi guys!

First of all, I want to thank you all for stopping by my blog posts. I’m trying to write more these days. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, or that’s what I thought it was, for the past 2 years. I’ve never had it before and maybe it was anxiety with a sprinkle of panic attacks. However, with being able to walk more and healing from my knee surgery, I want to drive again. I’m sure I can drive just fine, but it’s my mind that is stopping me. Tai Chi, yoga and listening to frequency music has helped with my anxiety, but something was missing in order for me to feel confident again. Overall, I am very happy in my life (never been happier) and it has nothing to do with depression which I don’t have. My nurse suggested I speak with a therapist. I said, sure, that would be great! I spoke to my new therapist via telecom today and she was absolutely amazing! I loved her calming and soothing voice as well as her delightful personality. I told her about my near crash incidents and how I felt “traumatized” by it. I used the word traumatized in casual passing and not so much as a self diagnosis. I was talking a mile a minute to her about it. Afterwards, she calmly told me I was not demonstrating anxiety or even panic attack symptoms, but of a traumatized person just the way I was breathing and speaking to her. She has no idea what other trauma I’ve experienced my life. But with what she plans to teach me in dealing with trauma will help with my past as well & that’s a great thing. I was specifically asking her for help with gaining confidence in driving again. It’s great to finally have a diagnosis of what and how I’ve been feeling.

Trauma.

There. I said it.

I’ve been traumatized.

The streets I used to drive at are hilly and curvy. It was at those spots that I would almost have accidents or have the fear of getting into an accident. My right foot was so weak, it would slip off my brake pedal and I’d have to use my emergency break to stop as a result. Things like this happened when I had at least 4 clients in my car & the responsibility of putting their lives at risk, was too much for me. I loved my clients and would never want to see them get hurt on my behalf. This caused a great deal of stress to me knowing I could be a liability to my company. As a result I had to quit my job since it was a 90% driving job and working with adults with disabilities. Thankfully, I can return back if I want. I miss & love my clients, but I think those days are over. The job itself was stressful and I’m currently working on something online which I will showcase soon here on WordPress. Anywho. Come to find out the specific car I had been driving was recalled by Ford for brake issues! So when my son drives and I’m in the passenger seat, my heart starts beating fast as if I’m reliving that moment in the past where I didn’t know if I’d whiz past a red light or potentially hit the car in front of me. I’d get flashbacks. Just so you know, I have not been in an accident in many years and when I did, it was not my fault. Someone had hit my car from behind because they were text messaging leaving me with a very achy back and a rattled mind. Another time I got in an accident, I was literally not even moving! I was in a drive-through and someone rammed into me and took off! A hit and run at a drive-through! They quickly got out of their car, came to my window, asked if my son & I were ok (he was 5 years old at that time)… got back in their car and took off!

So my first assignment until next week is to practice breathing in for 3-5 seconds and breathing out for 3-5 seconds three times a day. We will be training my brain to get used to the deep breathing because she said my body and mind is fighting against it due to the “fight or flight” syndrome. The breathing exercises is retraining the body and mind to not think that when things trigger me. She says we will work on several steps until I can drive again and not be traumatized when I see those streets or traffic lights where I could’ve gone into incoming traffic in a busy highway.

So I’m breathing in….and breathing out. I felt much better after doing this simple exercise a few times after I hung up with her. I’m looking forward to dealing with my trauma with a professional. I love Tai Chi and other relaxing things I do, but it’s not the same as speaking to a professional who explains why you feel that way and how to deal with it. I’m so excited about life and its potential, but this is something that I’m happy to be doing to improve the quality of my mental health. People say, that happy people shouldn’t need therapy. But what most people don’t realize is that even the happiest of people still need help with other issues in their lives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help for it.

Here’s to all those who want to level up in life and only want the best for themselves! Wooo! Until next time!

Hugs. xo

Hair nightmare & Snapchat being creepy

Hello everyone!

How are you? I am actually back on here. Sooner than I expected, but I wanted to jot down some things only because I found them somewhat amusing and wanted to immortalize it here in my digital journal. Last Friday I got my hair done, something I have not done at a salon in about 2.5 years or so. My highlights are quite expensive and I’ve had to be extra careful in how I’ve spent my money the past years. I’ve missed my highlights as I’ve always had them most of my life. Everything was going well as I caught up with my hairstylist. Since I had been absent, she has gotten a boyfriend, engaged, married and gave birth to a son who is now one years old. I wanted a balayage which is an ombre sort of hair color from the bottom up. After 4 hours sitting in the chair, she was done. Much to my dismay, I did not get what I had wanted. What happened to her magic? I wasn’t happy. I wanted highlights framing my face, which she did, but the color was very blond, almost platinum. Gasp! I wanted a softer, caramel looking highlights. The rest of my hair was so dark and I didn’t like the contrast, it was too much. Feeling defeated that I spent quite a large amount of money on my hair after years of not going, I left the salon. I later bought some hair color and hoped it would darken my highlights the next day. After coloring my hair, yes, I know-a major hair sin! But I was desperate! Nevertheless, I colored my hair (again) and took a shower. While in the shower, I noticed my ends looked grey! No, no, nooooo! This can’t be happening? How? Well, obviously the hair gods were furious at me and wanted to punish me for doing the absolute sin of recoloring after going to the salon. I dried my hair and to my shock, my highlights that were once platinum blond were now grey! The chemical mixture of the box hair dye didn’t mix well with my professional salon dyed hair. Which reminds me of this scene of Anne of Green Gables when she tried to color her hair black and it came out green! Haha! Ugh, the struggles! I feel ya pain girl! Can I just remind everyone that I am obsessed with Anne of Green Gables?

Credit: Finfy

The last time my hair was grey looking was when I had to put baby powder in my hair for a play in Brazil to play an old lady and I was in High School! I was not going to succumb to just walking around in society with grey highlights! Grey balayage is just too weird. I turned to YouTube, of all place, to see how I could fix this travesty. Turns out I just needed 2 items to get back my highlights. All I needed were several lemons and a little bit of conditioner; mix those babies up and vavoom, you’ve got the magic potion. I watched 2 videos of girls who experienced the same hair perils I was going through. I was pleasantly pleased to see that they reversed their grey toned hair. My son curiously stared at my grey highlights and said, “It….doesn’t look that bad!” I appreciated his sweet words, but I knew deep down, he was horrified.

This afternoon, I squeezed a bag of lemons as I prepared to reverse the grey highlights. What started with me daintily putting the mixture on a comb and putting it on my hair gingerly and carefully, ended up with me 5 minutes later dumping the rest of the mixture on my hair and massaging my head. Patience much? I got all my ends saturated and especially my frames. This was a battle of reversing the evil grey tones of my hair. After a few minutes, I saw the blond come back and the grey gone! It’s a miracle! Thank you lemons, my little yellow super heroes.

Highlights are rockin’ again and everything is good in paradise as per photo below.

Things are going well. I have 3 major goals to be completed by June or July. I think having goals in life is good, but also short term goals are good too. I feel like I am enjoying this time in life after several years of having hard times. I pause and thank God for allowing me get through it. I’ve never been happier! The will to be the best I can be, to pursue my dreams and to stay focus has been my main priority. I continue to work very hard in doing my physical therapy. Some days I feel like a slug and don’t want to, but then I remember how far I’ve come. For a while, I thought I would never completely recover. Then some days I realize I have improved, they are just little subtle improvements that show themselves, but it is up to me to see it. I just get so excited about my future & want to go out there and conquer the world; I get squirly about it. Slow & steady. Everything happens when it’s supposed to.

Brown eyes. No grey contact lenses today.

I was playing around with my Snapchat when it suddenly decided to turn creepy on me. I’m not sure if this has happened to anyone else, but listen to this. I was trying different filters on my phone. I had not pushed the record button when suddenly I was no longer in control of my camera! Maybe it was a glitch? My hand was holding my phone steady and not moving. My camera was facing me, but what was being shown on my phone was the ceiling and it was moving. It only happened for 5 seconds, but it looked like my camera was looking around my room on my phone. Maybe it was a glitch and my Snapchat recorded my movements earlier and was just showing it on my phone. Nevertheless, it was strange and creepy. I quickly closed the app and felt it. It was hot. That’s enough, you hot phone! You need to cool off!

When you think you’re having a bad day, remember there are others who are having worse days. It brings it all into perspective. Be gentle to yourself. Love yourself. We all have a purpose, even if it’s just to make a stranger smile. Until next time which will be soon. I promise.

Much love xoxo

What is happening?!

Hi guys!

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve last wrote on here. I haven’t had the time to sit down and compose a well thought out blog. Surgery for my knee is set for next month if all things fall into place and everything looks good. I’m both excited and nervous, but trying my best to not get further stressed with the coronavirus or should I say covid-19?

So, we are all being told to stay indoors to stop the spread of the virus. You would THINK after all the virus, zombie, monsters & alien invasion movies we all love (hello “Independence Day & War of the Worlds” two of my favorites) that we’d be prepared for such global catastrophic events, but we’re not. Instead we see people going out buying toilet paper and hoarding them. Why? This isn’t a diarrhea type of disease. Doesn’t make sense. I’ve been sitting here analyzing society as a whole and how we deal with things. This is new and something we haven’t experienced at this level. Thankfully, we have technology that allows us to communicate instantly. Imagine how people in towns 30 or 40 years ago would be able to deal with this? People in the past were just as panicked as we are today in the year 2020. Can you imagine someone from this year talking to someone in NYC in the year 1832 when cholera brought the city to a standstill? Same panic albeit we have technology now, which has pros and cons about it. What have we learned? Have we improved our way of dealings with this? I’m not taking this subject lightly as I have asthma and am concerned as I want to be healthy for my surgery. However, the more I think about situations that run around in my head that haven’t happened or will probably never happen, I have learned to control those thoughts. This crisis is not just a physical situation, but also an emotional, mental and financial state of affairs for everyone. I feel like we’ll be going through another phase of panic of financial sorts when people can’t buy food due to not being able to work. Hopefully we won’t reach that point where it will become complete lawlessness.

I like to self motivate myself when I get stressed and I found this lovely video a few days ago. It deals with depression (I don’t have depression) and anxiety. I hope you find it useful! I know I definitely benefited from the counting backwards from 5 for anxiety. It worked for me and will continue to use it.

Credit: Motivation2Study

On a positive note, I have seen compassion and humanity though the mess of greediness and selfishness of society. I love hearing stories of people helping others. Like my favorite quote says, “Where there is life, there is hope“.

Credit: GuardianNews

We do need to find humor though! We need to laugh, we need to smile.

I’ll be jumping back on WordPress soon. I don’t know when, hopefully when everything has settled down and post surgery. Thank you to my readers and stay strong! A huge welcome to my newest subscribers! Where ever you are, be safe and take care of yourself!

Much love. xoxo

What kind of person are you attracting?

Hey everyone!

How’s everyone been? So yesterday I was going through my feed on YouTube of recommended videos and I came across something that really opened my eyes.

I usually don’t watch dating videos, but I thought, why not?

I was pleasantly surprised of what I discovered! It now all makes sense why certain past relationships ended badly and others ended amicably. You will discover that there are woundmates & soulmates that you will encounter in life. I must admit, after watching this video, I was a woundmate. I also had relationships with guys who were woundmates as well, which now makes total sense of why it was just drama with them. My last real relationship was 5 years ago, that’s when we broke up on May 2014. We had a 5 year long distance relationship. He was a woundmate and I was in the process of becoming my own soulmate.

I’m now my own soulmate and I now completely understand the differences of wanting to be with someone and the need to be with someone. Once you feel whole within yourself, it becomes easier to choose others who are whole themselves and avoid a disastrous relationship. The older you get, you just want to be happy with yourself, your partner and in general. You don’t want to deal with drama. Relationships aren’t perfect, but this does give a clearer understanding of how to identify a woundmate and why things are going the way they are in your relationship or marriage.

This also will make it quite clear why your partner and yourself are having the easiest relationship you’ve ever had and why the communication is better than you’ve had with anyone else. Congratulations, you’ve met another soulmate.

Here I am summarizing what I learned from the video.

Here is the video explaining in detail the difference between a woundmate & a soulmate.

Credit: Mark Rosenfeld

Day 25. March Blog Challenge 🤖

What were your favorite childhood toys and shows growing up?

Hi there buttercups!

I’ve been super busy doing things. One of them is organizing about 3,000 photos online in categories so it’s easier to make videos and things like that. Plus, I have 7 USBs I had to go through. This has taken me hours as I’m also uploading them on Onedrive. Ok, so I was going to post pictures of my favorite toys growing up, but I thought it would be easier to show commercials of them instead. Walking down memory lane my loves! Right this way!

Cabbage Patch Kids!

I was a little late to the game in regards to owning one, but I did finally get one as a present.

Credit: AnainCA

Slip’n Slide

This was a lot of fun! Good times!

Credit:RetroStatic

Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood

Don’t the first few notes of the intro make you feel like a little kid again? You’re suddenly transported to a time in your life where you felt special, even though the man talking to you in that soft spoken voice was in the tv? I really enjoyed his shows. I especially loved the adorable red trolley and King Friday and his court. There was always drama with them! Isn’t it amazing how shows influence your interest as you get older? I still love trains & trolleys to this day & I follow the royal family in England too.

Credit: Christian Michael Corenza

Reading Rainbow

Such a great show! Those days reminded me of the book catalog where you could buy books from. I used to love the magazine for kids called Highlights because they had poetry and drawings of kids from all over the country. I believe this was where my love of poetry stems from.

Credit: Hilbenhousen Industries

My Little Pony

Well, my pony was raised in the tropics! I would braid my pony’s tail and make makeshift boats for my pony to ride in. It rained heavily everyday in Brazil so there were always little streams my pony would sail on or if I was feeling especially adventurous, we’d play in mud. I would make sand castles on the beach for my pony and we’d go swimming together in the ocean & pool.

Credit: 80sCommercialsForever

Snoopy Snowcone Machine

Snoopy is the original gansta, the G. What kid doesn’t love snow cones? I never stopped & when my son was old enough to work the machine on his own, I got one! It’s in storage in New Jersey I believe. We would have a lot of fun making our own snowcones. I’m such a hipster mom!

Credit: Steve Betancourt

Scooby Doo

I was mesmerized by this show! The show was funny, but there were still some parts that scared me! It wasn’t too horrifically scary, but just enough to watch it with a blanket near my chin ready to hide under for the scary parts. Maybe the show was preparing me for when I’d actually end up living in several haunted homes! Surprisingly, my son & I watch horror movies and laugh throughout the movie! We’ve had so many ghostly experiences we shake our heads & think that’s not what happens! My son grew up watching Scooby Doo & wanted shirts with Scooby Doo on them.

Credit: TITRO99

80’s tv toy, cereal commercials

I will leave these commercials as a walk down memory lane. Maybe you’ll see something on this video which will make you say, “Oh yeah! I remember playing with that!”

Credit: 80sCommercialVault

xoxo 🤖

Goodbye 2018!

Here’s to all of you who fought the good fight in 2018, didn’t give up and came out victorious! Gather around guys.

Hey, hey my friends!

I’m sitting here on a Sunday night, listening to “live” music on YouTube of Bossa Nova Jazz because it make me feel like a grown up. Just kidding. I love jazz and especially Bossa Nova because your girl is a true Brazilian girl. Anyways, so I decided to give my two cents of my humble thoughts of this year and how it impacted me and how it will impact going into 2019.

I didn’t write too much this year because I had a lot going on and I’m still without a good video software that I like to edit any videos. I love making videos to post on my blog and also my job took a lot of my time, especially after I came home. Towards the end of the day, I basically konked out on my bed and fell asleep after making dinner. I just could not devote enough time to this blog. I felt bad, but I still love ya WordPress. You’re my first love.

So if you have read my blogs this year, you’ll know I had to deal with some serious issues like going to New Jersey to testify for a crime committed on me many years ago. It was a cold case that was reopened and I was the main witness. Emotionally, this year, at least the beginning was mostly me prepping emotionally to do something very hard and come face to face in court with this perpetrator. My emotions were mixed. I survived the ordeal and discovered I am a strong person and that I don’t give myself a lot of credit for a lot of things. I have confidence, it’s just giving myself due credit where it should be given. I don’t know if self-worth goes hand in hand with it.

I was able to continue going to work and doing well at it. In fact, I got “EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH” this past September. I felt honored and appreciated. My supervisor is amazing and has really been the kindness boss I’ve ever had. I’m really going to miss her.

But unfortunately, my knee issues was getting worse. I was getting injections in my lower back to help relieve some of the pain and numbness, but it only helped for a few days. Then I got an injection in my knee and it only helped for a week. This is only being done until I get to see a Orthopedist in a few months who will then actually “fix’ my knee issue. The pain management is all just basically a “band-aid” to help with the pain. I had to leave my job due to it affecting my driving and my job being 90 percent driving. My boss and friends all told me to just take care of my knee issue and make it a priority. It has been difficult since I’m an extremely independent and carefree person who is used to just getting up and going somewhere at free will. Now, it’s been harder. But it is what it is. I must relax my knee and stay put. Through all this, I’ve done my best to stay positive and see the brighter things about it. Which, I must admit has been very hard. Some days it’s very hard to walk because every step is painful when I put pressure on my knee as I walk. the waiting game is hard. I’m a bit impatient because it’s like I have things to do, places to see and places to explore, so this has been a bit of a damper to my spirit. I do have help and I’m glad I have friends who have come to my rescue.

I got a bit of a shock in early November. Initially, I had gotten a letter in August stating the perpetrator was going to stay in jail until next year and I was so relieved. However, due to him being in jail during the investigation and trial for two years, he maxed out. I got a letter stating he was coming out Dec. 4th. I was devastated and scared. I was mad and confused as to how he was able to come out a lot earlier. I focused on mostly my knee issues and I forgot to be scared like I had been thinking he’d try to hunt me down and do something, especially now where I feel so vulnerable and like a sitting duck. It’s the end of the year and nothing has happened and I’m safe. I will, however, buy one of those doorbell cameras that detects motion whenever someone comes near your door. It alerts your phone and you can see who is at your door or who was at your door when you’re not at home. I’m trying to not focus on my fears of what may happen and live my life and not have him on my mind. I hate living in fear and knowing he’s out can cause that. As it would any victim.

Not much else happened.

For the next year, 2019, I will be healing myself physically. This year was healing my mind, my emotions due to having to remember the past and telling complete strangers about it in court. It’s easy for me to write things such as my blog to you all because you’re part of my blogging journey, but to sit up there and tell very hurtful details of the crime to the jury was hard and opening up about such things was hard. I’m going to work on not worrying so much about the future.

This year I want to connect with a painter I admire. Not in a romantic way, but in a way saying how much I admire his artwork and ask if we could become bestfriends tell him about my life in Brazil. i just think it’s pretty unique he comes from a completely different world from mine and we are so opposite in our childhood upbringing, but we still have a lot in common with art, interest in nature and space. It’s like meeting your favorite author, or singer…. mine just happens to be a painter living in France out in the country. I think a nice letter, some photographs I’ve taken of Colorado and a Colorado shirt would make a nice gift to send him. I should throw in some Rocky Mountain Chocolates. I’ll keep you guys updated on this. I could also just say hello on messenger since he is on my friends list on his personal FB page. He has a public FB too, but I am one of the few on his personal FB page. I’m old fashioned, so a nice letter and a package will suffice for now. When a blogger connects with her favorite artist in France. Sounds like an adventure even Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex in the City) would want to read about.

I’m feeling positive of the next year. I truly am. My son will be going to college in 2020 instead of 2019, so he’ll be still around to help me out and go on adventures with me. He’ll also be driving in a few months, so that makes me anxious, but I trust him. I know he’ll be a great driver. The thought of how much longer we’ll stay in Colorado continues to haunt me. I love upstate New York and would readily retire there, but who knows. Life has a funny way of changing things around. A few days ago, I asked my son, “What would you think if we just moved to China for a year or six months while I taught English as a second language?”. He just smiled and nodded. I’ve always wanted my son to live overseas to experience life, but he’s already been to 6 different countries, so he has some handle of what life is like in other countries.

Thank you for sticking by me this year. Thank you and welcome to my new subscribers! At one point, I thought this will be my final and last blog ever on WordPress, but not this year. I’m not finished yet. Maybe I never will. I’ll be home warm and watching the ball drop in New York City on tv as my son will be with his friends watching fireworks here. What are your plans?

This has gotten too long, but that’s just an update. Here’s to the New Year folks. I’ll do my best to write more and post blogs of weird and strange places like I used to. See you next year!!

xoxo

Finding Fukue: “I want to find you”

Hello my dear friends,

As the first day of December presents itself to us, we usually find ourselves thinking of our loved ones as Christmas brings together our loved ones. We think of our loved ones who are still here and those who have passed on. Then there are the ones who continue to think about those loved ones who somehow disappeared from our lives. Those loved ones who made such a difference in our young lives or a huge difference in a short amount of time. For some reason or another, those loved ones somehow disappeared from our lives leaving us confused, sad and missing them a lot. Do you have anyone who you still think about? I do. I have a few people in mind. I think of my friend Amy. I’ve tried to find her on Facebook using two of her last names. She got married twice. I’m hoping she still lives in New Jersey as I lost touch with her when my son was around 2 years old, but we certainly had a kindred spirit and we had a lot in common. Unfortunately, she got into drugs and made bad choices in life as she didn’t choose the best boyfriends or husbands in her early 20’s. I could have sworn I saw her one day taking a smoke break at a corner with her coworker. She looked skinnier, had shallow cheeks and looked worn down. I should have stopped. I just wasn’t sure it was her and I continued driving. My search continues and always will for her. However, I will make an effort to get in contact with my friends who I haven’t been in touch with more starting this month and the year approaching. I want to be more in contact with them then I have been before.

Here’s to all you who are still searching for people of your past. May your search bring you peace, happiness and a connection that has been missing in your great big journey in life. It’s amazing how having a little piece of your past heal and close a gaping hole of uncertainty.

Enjoy this beautiful story. I know I cried when I watched it, it was so beautiful, sentimental and I was cheering for her to find her kindred spirit.

Video credit: CBC Docs

This post is dedicated to my old childhood friends, Martin (who lives in Switzerland with his lovely wife and kids), David my bestfriend from Brazil who is the namesake of my son’s middle name (who lives in the UK with his beautiful wife and kids), Andrea, Misty and Joe (another childhood friend who I plan to reconnect with soon, our mothers were bestfriends).