MERRY CHRISTMAS

My darling friends,

I am wishing you all a wonderful Christmas or holiday you may be celebrating this month around the world. May your day be filled with love, laughter, joy & delicious food! I was going to post a Christmas video up in Denver, but due to somehow cutting my right toe, I was not able to walk around too much to film. My toe is fine now. Going up to Denver was canceled due to inclement weather. We also got a blast of Artic/Siberian weather dumped our way as most of the USA was under chilly weather. At one point, it was -45 degrees outside! That’s insane and extremely dangerous. Luckily, our electricity remained intact and we were able to stay cozy and warm inside. The normal winter temperature is back and all is well. If I don’t post again, I’ll be seeing you next year!

Hope everyone has a great day and I’ll see you soon!

xoxo

Autumn 🍂: Staying positive during hard times

Hello!

Hope you’re doing alright and enjoying life wherever you may be. I have been a bit under the weather this week. I had originally planned to narrate this video, but couldn’t get the music low enough (even down to 6%) to be able to hear me narrate over the music. But I suppose it’s better you don’t hear with me a nasal congestion. I went to the nurse today to be checked out and it is just a cold. I also got my foot checked out because I had a pretty bad fall earlier in the month, so I got x-rays done today to make sure it did not have a hairline fracture. I can put weight on my foot without pain, but I am choosing not to do my usual activities until I know for sure I do not have a fracture and make it worse. These two things have put a damper on my spirits, but I carry on and stay positive.

One way I have learned to stop feeling sorry for myself is to just find things that make me feel productive, happy and distracted.

Since I can’t exercise on my glorious treadmill that I waited 1 year for, I have opted to try something I have wanted (and should have) to try out for a few years. I had put it in the back of my mind, just never got around to actually pursuing it. What is it you ask? Boxing. Yup. You read right. But don’t you have to stand and prance around with your gloves punching the air? Well, I guess. But there are exercises to do from a chair if you have an injury and can’t put full weight on both legs. I’ve ordered my gloves. Normally, I would get a wicked set of gloves to match my style, but I actually wanted something girly. So, yes. I bought pink satin (I don’t think it’s actually satin, I think it’s just the color name) boxing gloves. If I didn’t go ahead and buy these gloves, I would be 99 years old sitting in a rocking chair smacking my gums and telling all my friends that I wished I had taken up boxing when I was younger. I’m learning boxing via video and it’s just to keep cardio in my exercise regimen & get my heart rate up. Yoga is too relaxing for me, so I like to switch it up with other forms of exercises. My arms are going to be so toned. Seating only for boxing exercises until I find out if I have a fracture in my foot. Until then, I will try my best to keep off my feet and just let it heal. Finger crossed, I should know by next week and then it’s:

Right uppercut, left uppercut, right jab, left jab, right side hook, left side hook POW!

Yoga is nice, but I actually love Pilates and Barre. I already do some form of Pilates on the daily, but I’m trying to incorporate Barre. What is Barre? It’s an exercise that uses a ballet bar ( you can buy your own individual bar or hold on to a very strong bar at home) and incorporates ballet movements to the exercises. Being a former gymnast, I know all about being graceful from the floor exercises I used to do as a child. I’ve always loved ballet and watched several ballet shows with my mother. Once again, I can’t start my Barre exercises until I know for sure that I don’t have a fracture on my foot because the Barre exercises include a lot of standing on your toes. If you are curious to see what a Barre exercise looks like, there are many videos on YouTube that show you what a typical class looks like. No, you’ll never catch me spinning 30 feet off the ground as if I was suddenly thrust into The Nutcracker scene as the Sugar Plum Fairy. I can dream though. Ha.

I’ve also decided to do some crafts in preparation for Christmas. These things have kept me busy or hopefully will make me busy in the coming months.

My only advice if you are having a rough month like I am is to just find things that make you happy and adapt them to where you can enjoy them. Do things that make you feel good, (ladies) even if it’s just painting your nails or doing whatever guys do if you’re a male. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything sounds oh so cliché, but here I am coughing, battling the nasal drip, having a bit of chest congestion, and sweating from low-grade fevers that come and go, but I am blogging. Why? Because it makes me happy! I also wanted to take some video clips of the amazing trees and share it with you what I am seeing here in Colorado. I wanted us to enjoy it together.

I also wanted my video to reflect what it feels like when you swaying on a hammock and looking up at the trees. Perhaps looking up at the trees towering over you while you cruise around in a convertible. Maybe even having a picnic under a tree and feeling the leaves gently drop down on you. Autumn is such a magical season and I just had to capture it before it was too late.

Until next time. Stay safe & take care of yourselves.

xoxo

Rescue on a snake lake

It was a beautiful tropical Saturday afternoon and Clementine, 13 years old, and her friends were at a large picnic event. Looking around, Clementine spotted some of her other friends and grabbed her best friend, Kate, to meet up with them. The sun was starting to bake their skin and sweat started to appear on both girls.

“Hey Clemmy, look at those kayaks over there! Want to go out later on the lake? Maybe we can invite Steve and Kian to come with us.” Kate suggested shielding her eyes from the hot sun.

“Sure, but let’s grab some food before we go out!” Hunger had taken over and boys were the last thing on Clementine’s mind at the moment.

The girls sat down and talked as they ate their food. Around 150 people were mingling around and everyone appeared to be in a great mood. This picnic was an annual event and it was the first time they decided to have it here at a private beach that had to be reserved for that day. In front of the shaded area of the building that housed the tables was the lake. Behind the building was a pool with small grassy hills to walk or ride bikes. Most people gathered facing the lake.

After finishing their food, Clementine changed into her bathing suit and met up with Kate who was waiting by the kayaks choosing which paddle to use.

“I think I’ll take this one!” Kate proclaimed as she gingerly got into her kayak.
Not sure which one to choose out of 4 kayaks, Clementine chose a bright yellow kayak that already had paddles waiting for her inside. Inside the kayak was a bit of water with some debris floating around, but not so much to concern her. Clementine slowly rolled over the kayak and poured out the little remaining water inside the kayak. Kate laid her towel on the beach and put some sunscreen lotion on her shoulders.

“Wait, what about Kian and Steve? Aren’t they coming too? Where are they?” Clementine asked as she squinted her eyes to look towards the building. “I don’t see them.”

“Oh, forgot to tell you. They’ll come later. They wanted to get more food. You know how guys are always eating!” Kate said rolling her eyes and letting out a long sigh.
“Well, then I guess it’s just you and me! Do you feel confident enough to head out now? I mean, you’ve done this before, right?”
“Just once.” Clementine felt confident. 

Kate side-eyed Clementine and wrinkled her forehead. Besides a slight trepidation from Kate, both girls paddled out into the big lake to seek out an adventure.
“This is really nice! It’s so calm out here but the water is extremely dark though. You can’t even see below! I don’t even want to know what is down there!” Kate said as she paddled and stared below at the pitch dark glassy water below her.

“It is dark. I think it’s from the trees. Don’t worry about it, just enjoy it. I’m going to put my feet out and layout. Might as well work on my tan.” Kate started to lean back on her kayak.
“Alright, you do that and I’m going to explore a bit over there. I’ll be right back, I just want to see what is over there by those trees.” Clementine started paddling towards a grove of trees in the middle of the lake.
By this time, the two girls were hundreds of feet away from the sandy beach and the music and chatter of the festivities became more subdued the further they paddled out.

As Clementine paddled, she suddenly noticed water filling up her kayak. With sudden panic, Clementine turned her kayak around and yelled out to Kate.

“Kate! My kayak is filling up with water! I’m going to need help!” Clementine’s voice cracked a bit as she was fumbling with her paddles and tried her best to head back to the beach. No one was aware of what was happening out in the dark waters of the lake as the two girls were beyond earshot. Kate quickly paddled over and said she would paddle back to shore and ask for help. Clementine’s heart started beating fast as she imagined strange & venomous creatures waiting to grab her once she no longer was safe in her kayak. The dark waters looked ominous. The cool dark waters of the lake had begun to cover the legs of Clementine as she watched Kate jump off her kayak and run to one of the boys at the beach. The notion of drowning was not a possibility as Clementine was a good swimmer. It was what was below that scared Clementine the most. Clementine continued to watch in silence with only the lapping of the water around her becoming more noticeable and the random sound of the paddles bumping the side of the kayak. 

A few minutes pass & Clementine has now begun to tread water as her kayak has gone below the surface of the water, but has not totally sunk to the bottom of the lake. Her paddles floated away as she thought there was no use in holding on to them as she needed her arms to tread water. Clementine finally saw Steve jump into a kayak and quickly head towards her. Steve, a 14-year-old and someone who Clementine would have occasional crushes on depending on the season, was a childhood friend and one to rescue Clementine from disaster on more than one occasion. One time Clementine had her entire left arm out of a car feeling the wind and Steve quickly grabbed Clementine’s arm within seconds before a big truck nearly tore it off by driving too close to the car. Clementine was rescued once again.

“What happened Clemmy?” Steve asked smiling.

“My stupid kayak filled up with water. I thought it was fine when I took it out but didn’t know there would be a hole in it until it started to fill up with water.”

“Hold on to the tip of the kayak & I’ll take you back to shore.”

Clementine grabbed the tip of Steve’s kayak and felt a sense of relief to be rescued. Again.

“I wonder if there are snakes in the water!” Steve wondered out loud.

“Stop! Don’t say that!” Clementine moaned as she started to kick her feet faster to help speed up the rescue mission. Steve laughed. 

Clementine and Steve were welcomed by parents and onlookers wondering what happened out in the lake. It was a minor spectacle, but nevertheless embarrassing for Clementine who vowed to never go kayaking again without checking to see if there are holes in the kayak. Much to Clementine’s horror, she was told later on by an adult that there were black water snakes in the water.

True story of when I was 13 years old & what happened on snake lake in Brazil. That’s not the name of the lake, but it should have been named that. I just wanted to tell it in a story form. All names were changed just for fun. I wrote this in 2012, but never published it and thought I’d bring it out, dust it off from my “drafts” file. This story also reminded me of this endearing scene. Way too similar. Funny how life imitates art or art imitates life. I have so many funny stories & wild adventures of my childhood growing up in Brazil. 

Talk soon. Much love. 

 

xoxo

 

 

Post edit: Wait a minute. Upon reviewing this story, why didn’t my friend Kate rescue me herself? Kate! What kind of friend are you? Lol. Was she sinking herself, but had enough buoyancy to reach shore without sinking? I’m going to have to ask my friend and see if she remembers this since we were mere children/teenagers at the time.

Immersed in Van Gogh’s world!

Hello my beautiful souls!

Adventure boy & I had the wonderful pleasure of going to see Van Gogh’s artwork last month. This is what I had promised you last year, but due to unforeseen events, the show was canceled & I didn’t get a chance to see it until recently. Luckily, we were graciously upgraded with our tickets (which came with some goodies) which was nice because I had bought the 2 tickets last May. For my new subscribers, Adventure boy is my son’s social media name here on WordPress. I guess I can transition his social media name to just “J”, but I still like calling him Adventure Boy because he still does go on adventures with his friends all over Colorado. Check out his blog on my menu. He was so cute when he was younger in how he wrote about life & his reviews of movies; he continues to be extremely funny even to this day. My son is a fantastic photographer and is always asked to take wedding, maternity, casual and portrait pictures by his friends and clients. He is my movie buddy, we’ve seen all the trilogies of things and look forward to watching Top Gun & the new Jurassic Park movies. He turned 21 years old last month & continues to be the sweetest, most thoughtful, respectful, well behaved, polite, handsome, loving & most wonderful son a mother could ever ask for. His love for art, hopefully, came from me because his grandmother was an artist & I oil point, so it runs in the family. This was a great experience to share with my son & we both enjoyed it. This video is the shorter version of what I captured. The longer version is about 15 minutes long. This shorter version took about 2 hours to edit and add music to it. I had to clip and crop things on the 38 individual video clips I took, but out of the 38 video clips, I only used several clips to make this video. Some things from the show I did not record because I just wanted to put my camera down and be in the moment and take in the breathtaking masterpieces Vincent painted. Vincent’s life was tragic and sad in a way that he died thinking no one liked his paintings or wanted to buy them. I’ve watched documentaries and 2 movies about the life of Vincent Van Gogh, so you can tell I am truly a fan of his. If only he knew that generations later and all over the world, people would come to sit down and see his artwork in not just a frame in a museum, but be surrounded by it & be immersed in his paintings. A dream come true for me & I’m sure a dream come true for Vincent if he was alive to see his masterpieces come to life. Everything was beautiful during the show, but there was a very small video clip of a yellow sun he painted that I absolutely loved! Luckily, the previous song had stopped, so it gave me a chance to slowly introduce another carefully selected song that warmly coincides with the sun blazing across the room. You can see my favorite clip at the 7:05 minute mark. I listened to 10 songs to see which one song could provide justice to the beauty of the sun & was so proud of myself to find the perfect tune to match his painting. One of my favorite things to do when editing my videos is finding that perfect song to show what I’m feeling in my soul & heart at the moment I am filming something. I think music adds so much to photography & videos. Truly magical!

I did my best to showcase his art with carefully selected music to recognize and show my appreciation for all the long hours he took to paint what he believed was truly beautiful in what he saw and had wanted the world to see.

This one’s for you Vincent Van Gogh. You still captivate me.

Your vase of life is beautiful. No matter what!

Hello everyone!

I saw this on my file just now and was inspired to write a quick post. So many of us are broken or have had trauma in our lives. Some people may even see it as a negative (some things happen to us that is out of our control or we were in the wrong place at the wrong time) and use it against us. I just want to remind you that no matter what you have gone through in life recently or even at an early stage as a child, you are still beautiful even with all your physical or emotional scars-just like the picture shows. Loving & understanding people in your life-that deserve to be in your life-will only see it as part of what you’ve gone through. You are a survivor! A warrior! Everyone’s broken vase is different and unique; you will not see an exact vase even if you tried. You should see mine! Mine would have gold all over the place like a branch. But if you step back and admire your vase that is fixed with gold, you will see beauty, strength and realize how unique your journey has been. I hope you have someone who is compassionate and will only handle your vase of life with admiration and especially love.

Until next time my lovelies.

xoxo

This was a game changer in figuring people out!

Hello lovelies!

How are ya? I’m back and I have pretty much recovered from covid. I’m feeling good. I’m back to working out and doing my normal things. I wanted to talk about something I have learned from last year & it’s been a game changer for me in realizing what kind of people there are out there in regards to their attachment to you and why they are that way. This stems from upbringing from childhood and transfers to how they relate to friendships, relationships and marriages. I can look at a couple and see signs of their attachment behaviors. Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. Sorry, have to put that out there. I know you all are highly intelligent over here in the WordPress universe & clearly know that. But you never know. Some random person might say, “Durrrr. You’re trying to sound like a therapist”. No, I’m not. I’m sharing information that is found in the public domain. I actually always wanted to be a couples therapist at one point in my life, but the reality is that dealing with unhappy and miserable couples every single day would burn me out. But it would be an amazing feeling to help save a marriage or relationship.

How to help a person with these 3 attachment styles is coming from a person who has a healthy secure attachment style. Obviously, a relationship/marriage/friendship is easier when both parties have the same secure attachment styles. These are just example of how to deal with these attachment style being a secure attachment style.

How to help a partner with an avoidant attachment

When I think of the avoidant attachment person, I can’t help but think of Al Bundy from Married with Children. His avoidant behavior was made humorous towards his wife. Usually why an avoidant attachment person is this way, it is due to fear. Sadly as babies or children, they have had to self soothe themselves because no one else was there for them. Often avoidance attachment are super analytical and overthink things, thus spiraling into the realms of anxiety. In a relationship/friendship/marriage an avoidant attachment will take 1 or 2 steps back when you want to get close to them because they don’t want to be vulnerable with their feelings or get intimate. One way to help this behavior is to share your own fears of things. This shared experience can break down any walls they may have because they suddenly have a connection with you. Another way is to compromise with them; this may help with their 1-2 step backwards with you. Often times, the avoidant loves their space and will want to be left alone. This may come across as dismissive, but if you acknowledge their space and verbally say it to them, they will feel secure and know they are valued and might come back sooner than expected to continue talking or continuing with an activity. Everyone is different and some people may never want to get help or change. But everyone can, if they want, better themselves to strive to have the secure attachment.

How to help a partner with anxious attachment

Anxious partners need validation from their partners that they will return. For example, if there is a fight/argument/disagreement with an anxious partner, the best thing you can do is to explain that you need to leave the environment to let them cool off. However, by letting them know that you will return to talk to them again and that they are still safe in the relationship/friendship/marriage, will mean the world to them. Anxious people feel that they will be abandoned. To feel secure and still important to someone even though there is a disagreement is vital in helping an anxious person to calm down and feel safe to share their feelings. Anxious people already feel that they will lose someone if there is a fight and truly expect someone to walk out of their life because either this has happened to them in the past (and there is a pattern of this) or they have witnessed it with their parents or friends. A person with a secure attachment will always return because they realize this is how an anxious person functions. An insecure attachment style person will literally walk away (probably slamming the door in the meantime) and ignore all calls or attempts from their anxious partner (this is actually a sign of an avoidant attachment person). The anxious partner is calling to get validation of their importance to said person & probably subconsciously to themselves hence their need to communicate. A healthy and secure person will be angry or upset, but at the same time will care about their partner’s anxious attachment and make sure they won’t feel abandoned, even if there is a negative conversation between the two. People with anxious attachment behaviors need a lot of positive reassurance & nurturing. The great thing is that a person with anxious attachment can learn & develop a healthy, happy and secure attachment. I know, because I used to be someone with an anxious attachment in relationships.

How to help a partner with disorganized or chaotic attachment

You can see this attachment easily in movies and true crime stories. I mean, this attachment is very common, but it’s a toxic mix when 2 people both have the disorganized/chaotic attachment. There’s a scene in the movie The Notebook where Allie & Noah break up. One second Allie is screaming wanting to break up with him and the next second she’s regretting that decision and pleading for him to stay-it’s the I hate you, don’t leave me theme. Personally, I think Noah had the secure attachment style because he was willing to compromise, wait for her until she “found” herself and tell her it’s ok to be close to him as they developed more into their relationship. People with disorganized/chaotic attachment styles do not know who they are and often don’t know what they want (in a partner or maybe even in life) thus causing confusion not only to themselves, but to others. Some may show hostility, aggression because they can’t regulate their extreme emotions. Unlike the avoidant attachment, the disorganized/chaotic attachment style can’t self soothe.

A way to help a partner with the disorganized/chaotic attachment style is to be consistent with everything or anything as they are so used to living in an unpredictable world. Trust is built with them as they learn that you will show up when you say you will or call when you say you will.

A professional therapist can help someone with all 4 attachments, yes, even the secure attachment to uncover the cause from childhood that overtime made its way into relationships and marriages. There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help.

Until next time my loves.

As always. xoxo

🍁Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🍂

Hi guys!

How are you? I was having a few issues uploading my first podcast on WordPress, but at least the link is there. If you know how I can use a player instead of a link, please let me know. But click the link and it will take you to my podcast. I like the “waves” in the background on the podcast, it’s cute. I’m new to this whole podcasting thing, so please excuse the tiny clip at the end that suddenly gets loud and cuts off. I tried editing that out, but it stayed! Anyway. Stay well and take care of yourselves. I’ll be back very soon!

Much love.

https://anchor.fm/amanda261121/embed

xoxo

Movember: Mental Health Awareness for Men

Hello my sweet souls…

November is the month we should also look out for and take care of the men in our lives, be it our fathers, brothers, uncles, boyfriends, husbands or just a friend. Text, call or visit a male person in your life and ask how they are doing. Not just a simple question, but truly ask them how they are feeling. I recently asked one of my male buddies and he admitted he wasn’t doing too well in a certain part of his life. I searched and gave him a number and website he could go to and seek help. I convinced him to get therapy and he never thought about going to therapy. Whether my buddy will go or not, it’s up to him, I did remind him that I am here for him if he needs anything or just needs to talk. He does have a girlfriend, so he has someone he can also talk to if he needs to. I personally think all year we should be be checking up on each other because sometimes people don’t speak up because no one really doesn’t ask them how they are really doing. People just want their feelings validated and understood. It’s a lonely world out there and sometimes it just takes just one person to acknowledge a hurting heart.

Remember, we are all phenomenal!

Artsy selfie.
Waiting for the soup to heat up.

The black and white photo is my cobalt blue sweater I am obsessed with right now. I bought it back in June to wear this Fall. My ring is something I bought a year ago and it’s a peach sapphire stone with a gold band. It’s so pretty! I wanted to post a colored picture of my sweater so you could see what a striking blue it is! You know how as a kid you waited impatiently for something with both hands on your head? Lol, that’s me. Something beautiful is coming up and I will be taking pictures & a video to show all of you. I can’t wait! It’s very, very beautiful. Just wait and see what it will be!

Twinkling town below.

Took a ride up to Palmer Park. This view always melts my heart. I live up in the hills, so I see this sight all the time, but this is from Palmer Park which is in the middle of town and not in the mountains! It looks like I am in the mountains looking down at the town, but it’s just a park in the middle of town. Behind me is the rest of the town. Palmer Park is huge and has lots of trails for runners, walkers and bikers.


Deformed full moon.

I have an Iphone 11, but my moon still looks deformed! I like this photo nevertheless with someone’s window glowing into the night. Winter is coming and it’s been so cold. The homes are lit up and cozy inside. I’ve had hot chocolate with marshmellow fluff two nights in a row, I’m out of control. Tonight it was soup, but no hot chocolate. The single girl’s life is so adventurous, no? Shout out to all the single women out there! I’m going to be wild and crazy and have tea later on tonight. I recently bought Earl Grey tea, scone mix and clotted cream. Nothing like a British tea with scones!

Until next time my sweet souls. Take care of each other and yourself. The next blog post will be beautiful, I promise! I can’t wait!

Much love.

**Cobalt Heavy Cable Knit Turtleneck Sweater by Boohoo

How To Discuss a Hard Topic with your Partner

Hey guys!

Tis, I. I have returned. I see I have some new subscribers and it makes me happy. So thank you & welcome!

I’m sure you have seen the video of Gabby Petito and her fiance when they were stopped by the police officer. In the video, Gabby is seen visibly upset when speaking to the officer because she and her fiance had been “fighting” all morning. The officer first made sure the environment was safe for him & for her. He told her to step out of the car and speak to him alone & away from her fiance. This was a smart move and I’ll explain why.

If a hard topic is to be brought up between two people in a relationship and you both know it could turn heated, then the first thing you need to do is:

REGULATE YOUR BODY

Gabby was away and began to speak to the officer. From the video, you can see Gabby start to regulate her body as I am sure her heartrate was up and body tense from arguing. The officer offered her to sit in his car so she could cool off, “relax a little bit”. Basically, he was helping her regulate her body. Obviously, starting a hard topic in the middle of jogging or doing strenuous work, is not the smartest move when beginning a hard topic with your significant other. Your body is already working overdrive and your thoughts won’t be as clear. Make sure your significant other is already calm and relaxed. Of course, make sure you are as well. If you need to take 10 deep breathes (4 seconds in, 4 seconds out), just do it. Even if it’s in front of your partner. You can do them together.

ADDRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RELATIONSHIP

Even though the officer & Gabby were strangers, he acknowledged her interests and made her feel good and important. In the police body cam you can hear Gabby state she wanted to start a YouTube channel and start blogging. Being a blogger myself for many years, I can understand her excitement to want to speak to the world of her thoughts on a blogging platform and connect with strangers from all over the world. Unfortunately, Gabby stated that her fiance was not supportive of her dream to become a Youtuber or blogger. He was not addressing the importance of her nor of her future dreams. The officer readily told Gabby that she was not in trouble and was not getting arrested. This is very important too when beginning discussing a hard topic. Addressing the importance of the relationship is vital as it makes the other person feel important and not attacked and get in defense mode. This gives the person the feeling of being safe around you & that you are working as team to discuss the hard topic. The officer did this by reinforcing that Gabby was safe (at that moment) and she was not in trouble. He wanted her to know they were a team working together to resolve this problem she and her fiance were facing at that moment. This should not feel like a boxing match where both people are on opposite sides. Hard topics can be cheating, divorce, telling someone their loved one passed away etc.

DISCUSS SAFELY

This can mean 2 things. Never discuss hard topics in an environment that could turn deadly such as kitchen, on a bridge or near a waterfall. You get the picture. I am not saying get in a padded room, but going somewhere quiet and far from anything that can be used against you if it does get out of control is important. Using words that conjure up negativity will only bring on the defense mode especially for topics about cheating & divorce or even each other’s mother-in-laws. Begin with words like “I” and “This is how I’m feeling about this…”. Validate their feelings, which may be very hard if you are discussing how you caught them cheating on you. Remember, this may sound almost unreal and probably level of impossibility, but it’s just a general way of making sure you and they are in a safe environment with little (if you can help it) to no blame with words.

Healthy problem solving takes practice and not everyone goes into a new relationship with that mindset. Some may come into a new relationship from an abusive relationship and have no idea how to problem solve with you on your first fight as a couple. The good thing is that anyone can learn to problem solve as team and do it in a healthy way;

What inspired me to write this particular topic was because of how Gabby and her fiance could have learned this approach to fighting or arguing and not have gotten into what ended in tragedy. Relationships are not perfect nor should they. But learning to understand each other before a hard topic can create a lower outcome of a very negative situation for both parties.

Until next time my loves. Take care of yourselves and each other, especially when it comes to discussing hard topics. RIP Gabby.

Much love.

x