I saw this on my file just now and was inspired to write a quick post. So many of us are broken or have had trauma in our lives. Some people may even see it as a negative (some things happen to us that is out of our control or we were in the wrong place at the wrong time) and use it against us. I just want to remind you that no matter what you have gone through in life recently or even at an early stage as a child, you are still beautiful even with all your physical or emotional scars-just like the picture shows. Loving & understanding people in your life-that deserve to be in your life-will only see it as part of what you’ve gone through. You are a survivor! A warrior! Everyone’s broken vase is different and unique; you will not see an exact vase even if you tried. You should see mine! Mine would have gold all over the place like a branch. But if you step back and admire your vase that is fixed with gold, you will see beauty, strength and realize how unique your journey has been. I hope you have someone who is compassionate and will only handle your vase of life with admiration and especially love.
So nice to see you all! A special hello to my new subscribers! I see you & want to welcome you with a great big hug! Stick around!
I got a new iphone about 3 weeks ago and I’m having fun playing with its features. I used to use the OG Movie Maker, remember that? But they don’t make it like they used to. So, I decided to get the app Adobe premiere and used it to edit my video. Here it is. It’s my first time using my new iphone to edit, so don’t laugh! I’m like a toddler with my editing skills on my iphone. It will get better, I promise. I wasn’t trying to be perfect in today’s video, I just wanted to shoot something and upload it. It took me a while to find the perfect song to go along with this vimeo video. In other news, wait until you see where I’ll be in November! It will blow your mind and my iphone will capture it all! It cost a pretty penny to get tickets, but it has been my dream to go to it for the past 2 years!
Take a ride with us as we ride around my favorite street, Peterson Road. Gosh, I love this road so much.
Maybe next time I’ll take you guys on a ride to one of my favorite parks. The views are amazing because the park is high above the town. Stay tuned.
Sorry! I didn’t know my video would be so big! Apologies for seeing my mug so huge! I don’t know how to make it smaller. :O
First of all, I want to thank you all for stopping by my blog posts. I’m trying to write more these days. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, or that’s what I thought it was, for the past 2 years. I’ve never had it before and maybe it was anxiety with a sprinkle of panic attacks. However, with being able to walk more and healing from my knee surgery, I want to drive again. I’m sure I can drive just fine, but it’s my mind that is stopping me. Tai Chi, yoga and listening to frequency music has helped with my anxiety, but something was missing in order for me to feel confident again. Overall, I am very happy in my life (never been happier) and it has nothing to do with depression which I don’t have. My nurse suggested I speak with a therapist. I said, sure, that would be great! I spoke to my new therapist via telecom today and she was absolutely amazing! I loved her calming and soothing voice as well as her delightful personality. I told her about my near crash incidents and how I felt “traumatized” by it. I used the word traumatized in casual passing and not so much as a self diagnosis. I was talking a mile a minute to her about it. Afterwards, she calmly told me I was not demonstrating anxiety or even panic attack symptoms, but of a traumatized person just the way I was breathing and speaking to her. She has no idea what other trauma I’ve experienced my life. But with what she plans to teach me in dealing with trauma will help with my past as well & that’s a great thing. I was specifically asking her for help with gaining confidence in driving again. It’s great to finally have a diagnosis of what and how I’ve been feeling.
There. I said it.
I’ve been traumatized.
The streets I used to drive at are hilly and curvy. It was at those spots that I would almost have accidents or have the fear of getting into an accident. My right foot was so weak, it would slip off my brake pedal and I’d have to use my emergency break to stop as a result. Things like this happened when I had at least 4 clients in my car & the responsibility of putting their lives at risk, was too much for me. I loved my clients and would never want to see them get hurt on my behalf. This caused a great deal of stress to me knowing I could be a liability to my company. As a result I had to quit my job since it was a 90% driving job and working with adults with disabilities. Thankfully, I can return back if I want. I miss & love my clients, but I think those days are over. The job itself was stressful and I’m currently working on something online which I will showcase soon here on WordPress. Anywho. Come to find out the specific car I had been driving was recalled by Ford for brake issues! So when my son drives and I’m in the passenger seat, my heart starts beating fast as if I’m reliving that moment in the past where I didn’t know if I’d whiz past a red light or potentially hit the car in front of me. I’d get flashbacks. Just so you know, I have not been in an accident in many years and when I did, it was not my fault. Someone had hit my car from behind because they were text messaging leaving me with a very achy back and a rattled mind. Another time I got in an accident, I was literally not even moving! I was in a drive-through and someone rammed into me and took off! A hit and run at a drive-through! They quickly got out of their car, came to my window, asked if my son & I were ok (he was 5 years old at that time)… got back in their car and took off!
So my first assignment until next week is to practice breathing in for 3-5 seconds and breathing out for 3-5 seconds three times a day. We will be training my brain to get used to the deep breathing because she said my body and mind is fighting against it due to the “fight or flight” syndrome. The breathing exercises is retraining the body and mind to not think that when things trigger me. She says we will work on several steps until I can drive again and not be traumatized when I see those streets or traffic lights where I could’ve gone into incoming traffic in a busy highway.
So I’m breathing in….and breathing out. I felt much better after doing this simple exercise a few times after I hung up with her. I’m looking forward to dealing with my trauma with a professional. I love Tai Chi and other relaxing things I do, but it’s not the same as speaking to a professional who explains why you feel that way and how to deal with it. I’m so excited about life and its potential, but this is something that I’m happy to be doing to improve the quality of my mental health. People say, that happy people shouldn’t need therapy. But what most people don’t realize is that even the happiest of people still need help with other issues in their lives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help for it.
Here’s to all those who want to level up in life and only want the best for themselves! Wooo! Until next time!