Goodbye 2018!

Here’s to all of you who fought the good fight in 2018, didn’t give up and came out victorious! Gather around guys.

Hey, hey my friends!

I’m sitting here on a Sunday night, listening to “live” music on YouTube of Bossa Nova Jazz because it make me feel like a grown up. Just kidding. I love jazz and especially Bossa Nova because your girl is a true Brazilian girl. Anyways, so I decided to give my two cents of my humble thoughts of this year and how it impacted me and how it will impact going into 2019.

I didn’t write too much this year because I had a lot going on and I’m still without a good video software that I like to edit any videos. I love making videos to post on my blog and also my job took a lot of my time, especially after I came home. Towards the end of the day, I basically konked out on my bed and fell asleep after making dinner. I just could not devote enough time to this blog. I felt bad, but I still love ya WordPress. You’re my first love.

So if you have read my blogs this year, you’ll know I had to deal with some serious issues like going to New Jersey to testify for a crime committed on me many years ago. It was a cold case that was reopened and I was the main witness. Emotionally, this year, at least the beginning was mostly me prepping emotionally to do something very hard and come face to face in court with this perpetrator. My emotions were mixed. I survived the ordeal and discovered I am a strong person and that I don’t give myself a lot of credit for a lot of things. I have confidence, it’s just giving myself due credit where it should be given. I don’t know if self-worth goes hand in hand with it.

I was able to continue going to work and doing well at it. In fact, I got “EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH” this past September. I felt honored and appreciated. My supervisor is amazing and has really been the kindness boss I’ve ever had. I’m really going to miss her.

But unfortunately, my knee issues was getting worse. I was getting injections in my lower back to help relieve some of the pain and numbness, but it only helped for a few days. Then I got an injection in my knee and it only helped for a week. This is only being done until I get to see a Orthopedist in a few months who will then actually “fix’ my knee issue. The pain management is all just basically a “band-aid” to help with the pain. I had to leave my job due to it affecting my driving and my job being 90 percent driving. My boss and friends all told me to just take care of my knee issue and make it a priority. It has been difficult since I’m an extremely independent and carefree person who is used to just getting up and going somewhere at free will. Now, it’s been harder. But it is what it is. I must relax my knee and stay put. Through all this, I’ve done my best to stay positive and see the brighter things about it. Which, I must admit has been very hard. Some days it’s very hard to walk because every step is painful when I put pressure on my knee as I walk. the waiting game is hard. I’m a bit impatient because it’s like I have things to do, places to see and places to explore, so this has been a bit of a damper to my spirit. I do have help and I’m glad I have friends who have come to my rescue.

I got a bit of a shock in early November. Initially, I had gotten a letter in August stating the perpetrator was going to stay in jail until next year and I was so relieved. However, due to him being in jail during the investigation and trial for two years, he maxed out. I got a letter stating he was coming out Dec. 4th. I was devastated and scared. I was mad and confused as to how he was able to come out a lot earlier. I focused on mostly my knee issues and I forgot to be scared like I had been thinking he’d try to hunt me down and do something, especially now where I feel so vulnerable and like a sitting duck. It’s the end of the year and nothing has happened and I’m safe. I will, however, buy one of those doorbell cameras that detects motion whenever someone comes near your door. It alerts your phone and you can see who is at your door or who was at your door when you’re not at home. I’m trying to not focus on my fears of what may happen and live my life and not have him on my mind. I hate living in fear and knowing he’s out can cause that. As it would any victim.

Not much else happened.

For the next year, 2019, I will be healing myself physically. This year was healing my mind, my emotions due to having to remember the past and telling complete strangers about it in court. It’s easy for me to write things such as my blog to you all because you’re part of my blogging journey, but to sit up there and tell very hurtful details of the crime to the jury was hard and opening up about such things was hard. I’m going to work on not worrying so much about the future.

This year I want to connect with a painter I admire. Not in a romantic way, but in a way saying how much I admire his artwork and ask if we could become bestfriends tell him about my life in Brazil. i just think it’s pretty unique he comes from a completely different world from mine and we are so opposite in our childhood upbringing, but we still have a lot in common with art, interest in nature and space. It’s like meeting your favorite author, or singer…. mine just happens to be a painter living in France out in the country. I think a nice letter, some photographs I’ve taken of Colorado and a Colorado shirt would make a nice gift to send him. I should throw in some Rocky Mountain Chocolates. I’ll keep you guys updated on this. I could also just say hello on messenger since he is on my friends list on his personal FB page. He has a public FB too, but I am one of the few on his personal FB page. I’m old fashioned, so a nice letter and a package will suffice for now. When a blogger connects with her favorite artist in France. Sounds like an adventure even Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex in the City) would want to read about.

I’m feeling positive of the next year. I truly am. My son will be going to college in 2020 instead of 2019, so he’ll be still around to help me out and go on adventures with me. He’ll also be driving in a few months, so that makes me anxious, but I trust him. I know he’ll be a great driver. The thought of how much longer we’ll stay in Colorado continues to haunt me. I love upstate New York and would readily retire there, but who knows. Life has a funny way of changing things around. A few days ago, I asked my son, “What would you think if we just moved to China for a year or six months while I taught English as a second language?”. He just smiled and nodded. I’ve always wanted my son to live overseas to experience life, but he’s already been to 6 different countries, so he has some handle of what life is like in other countries.

Thank you for sticking by me this year. Thank you and welcome to my new subscribers! At one point, I thought this will be my final and last blog ever on WordPress, but not this year. I’m not finished yet. Maybe I never will. I’ll be home warm and watching the ball drop in New York City on tv as my son will be with his friends watching fireworks here. What are your plans?

This has gotten too long, but that’s just an update. Here’s to the New Year folks. I’ll do my best to write more and post blogs of weird and strange places like I used to. See you next year!!

xoxo

I want to live in your paintings

My heart feels heavy in an artistic way. An artist I admired so much growing up has passed away in California yesterday. Perhaps you have heard of him, Thomas Kinkade. Thomas was one artist I always felt I wanted to meet and sit down and have coffee with. In my mind, we would discuss his brush strokes, his inspirations, dreams, family and how his artwork inspired people such as myself. People admired his paintings so much and wanted to live in his cottages and towns he painted, that there is actually a real life town where the houses are built exactly like the ones in his artwork. One of my favorite things to look for in his paintings was the letter “K” which he so cleverly hid in all his paintings. I would spend a lot of time just exploring every brush stroke to find this gem. Here are some of his paintings to enjoy.

And finally, I leave you with my favorite painting of his. This painting I saw first at a mall as a teen where it all began. I saw this painting and just stood there for quite some time just taking in all its beauty as it stirred up my imagination. Having lived in a postcard life in Brazil where all I saw was blue skies, lots of sunshine and swaying palm trees, this was different. What would it be like to live in that painting? That cottage is so cute and feels safe. I want to be safe; a place where everything is going to be ok and there is sunshine in every corner of my little world.

“Who is this artist?”, I asked the sales lady.
“That’s Thomas Kinkade. Isn’t he great?”, she replied.
“Yeah. He sure is. How much is it?”, I knew the answer, but it was all that I could ask at the time. The sales lady told me the price and I turned back to the painting. Oh, how I wished I could afford this painting. I love oil painting so much and I had fallen in love with the beauty of how this artist painted a world I wanted to live in. It was unlike any other artist I admired, but this man painted with sensitivity and tranquility. Perhaps it was the way he always had a theme of sunlight in his paintings. In Brazil, that’s all I ever knew. There wasn’t a rare day that I didn’t see sunlight, maybe that’s why I gravitated to his paintings. I also love stone houses and a lot of his houses and cottages were made out of that. Gardens flowing with shades of purples, pink, yellow and blue hues would make even the pickiest gardener fall in love. Growing up as a child, sometimes my mom would take me to a huge house in Bala Cynwyd, PA where I would run around the stone house and amongst the gardens filled with flowers and butterflies. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was like being inside a Thomas Kinkdade painting. I still cherish those memories.

Years go by and I forget about the painting I wanted as a teenager. Now an adult, I own this painting. It’s a constant reminder to me to take time out of a busy life to relax, enjoy nature and know everything will be ok.

“In a world where there is so much darkness amongst the hearts of people who never saw light or had seen it and forgot what it felt like, Thomas Kinkade was able to be an advocate for light in his artwork to bring hope for those that needed it or still need it.” –JavaGirl’s Life quote

Blogger’s Note: I’ve been absent because I’m at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Adventure Boy had surgery this past Tuesday and we’ve been here ever since until he recovers completely to go home. I still find time to like, comment and read all your posts while I sit here in the hospital room. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Your stories, ideas, thoughts and pictures help make this time a little easier. I hope everyone is having a good and relaxing weekend. Talk soon.

Photo Credit: Thomas Kinkade