Road to recovery…

Credit: Sierra Club


What’s going on? Anything interesting happening in your lives?

Just an update on my recovery of my back surgery. It’s been exactly 33 days since surgery. At my follow up my nurse said I was recovering extremely well & my suture looks really good. I’m so glad to be home! Two weeks & two days at home, but it feels longer. The first week I had to really watch how much my body could take because I was feeling so tired. I would maybe put the dishes away & load another and be tired for the rest of the day. Now, I can do a 4 or 5 things before I get tired. I see things that have to be done, but they can wait. I’m walking better and my Physical Therapist and I are working on my balance to strengthen my legs & core.

Throughout this whole ordeal I’ve discovered something about myself. I’m extremely challenging to myself to the point where people have to remind me to slow down. If the PT says 10 exercises for my feet, I’ll do 30. There is one exercise where I have to see how long I can stand with my eyes closed. Right now my ears and mind are the only things helping me to stand, but not my feet. She says this normal because when you have back surgery it messes with your balance. So I stood beside my bed one night. I was naughty and did this by myself because I’m supposed to do it with her around. The first time I could stand with eyes closed for 18 seconds. Then I was able to stand for 33 seconds. I kept falling back on my bed each time. I was so determined to get past 1 minute. I got so close one time to 57 seconds before falling back into bed. I kept falling, but kept getting back up. Persistent much? Finally, I just told myself to focus & relax and I stood with my eyes closed for 1 minute and 28 seconds. I was so happy! It was midnight, but I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I’m not used to struggling with things I never had to struggle with before.

I have good & bad days like everyone else. Having emotions I never had to deal with before. I wasn’t sure if I acting normal or not with my feelings. I started watching YouTube videos of other people who went through similar back surgery & I discovered I’m not alone in my feelings. All my fears, trepidation, frustrations, concerns, loneliness & sometimes sadness is normal they all said. I watched so many inspirational videos who just never gave up & worked their butts off to recover. This is the new life I have to adapt for now. It’s a 360 of what I’m used to, but I’m making the best of it. I’m learning to reach out to my closest friends when I need to. I actually posted about my surgery on FB for the first time in a long time. I got lots of encouragement from my dearest friends who are personal friends of mine. I’m so used to being independent & not bothering people with anything I’m going through. I feel like maybe people won’t care. I’m glad I was smothered by kindness from my dear friends, it really made me feel better.

I posted a picture of a mountain and a highway. This picture represents something to me metaphorically. The mountain represents a particular goal of working towards something monumental. I figured out I live 63,390 feet away from our mountain Pikes Peak. I chose the little cute mountain town called Manitou Springs as my ending point. Manitou Springs is basically at the bottom of a mountain. My goal is to walk as much as I can every day to walk that many feet. It takes someone 4 hours to walk from my home to Manitou Springs. Having a goal of walking 63,390 feet motivates me every day to achieve that goal.

I was looking at this particular picture and wondered what if someone came up to me & asked, “Are you ready to walk to reach that mountain? You’ll have days where your legs will hurt or the weather won’t agree with you, but that’s your end goal. It won’t be easy. Stay focused. Keep putting your feet moving forward, don’t look back. Pace yourself, don’t run. How much do you want that mountain?”

A lot.

I’m ready. Gosh, it’s such a long road! Sigh. The road looks so long. Two years to be exact. Remember I still have knee surgery next year which will include physical therapy once again. That will be 63,390 feet back home from the mountain.

Often I ask myself what is life trying to teach me. Everything happens for a reason. One of the things I’m learning is how much I need to give credit to myself. I don’t give myself enough credit for a lot of things, people often have to tell me how brave & strong I have been. I don’t see that. I need to remind myself that I am indeed strong & brave.

But I’ve had some laughs & good days more than bad days. I don’t blame anyone or anything. I’m learning to really listen to my body and rest when I need to. My PT today said I needed one more month until I could go exercise in the pool. I miss working out! I’m just glad I’m not taking any narcotics for my pain. I just take ibroprofin. My pain isn’t that bad where I need to take the hard core pain meds. Those side effects are no joke!

My birthday is next Tuesday & I’m excited! I’m still deciding what I want to eat. We’ll stay home as usual and celebrate. My son loves baking so he’ll bake me a cake. I might have my favorite Brazilian restaurant/store near Denver overnight a Brazilian meal. I’m still trying to get a store from Jersey to ship frozen panzarottis! I’m going crazy here because I haven’t had one in years! 🤭 I’m obsessed about panzarottis. Panzarottis are a local Jersey delicacy.

Thanks for reading about my update!

xoxo 💋

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