JavaGirl’s Journal: Week 1

Dear Journal,

This past week has been an eye opener for me. Let me try to explain it in a photographer’s point of view. See, it’s like looking through the camera and someone is trying to tell you where to point the camera to. You see what they want to show you, but you can’t see the specifics they are telling you to focus on. You try and try to focus and point at what you think is what they want you to see, but it seems nearly impossible. With a little help, they adjust the camera and gently glide your hand on your camera to where you are supposed to be pointing at and viola! A little adjustment here and there with the angles and suddenly it all becomes clear. You take your eyes off from the camera and look at the same thing and wonder, wow. As a result, now it’s so much easier to spot these things I had been so confused about. Sure makes my life a million times easier. Apparently, using the wrong filter lens was my problem. Using none of them, ends up making what I need to focus on much clearer. My metaphor has nothing to do with love, career, location, friends, my photography etc. It has to do with seeing others or things as a reflection of myself. If that makes any sense.

Mom continues to do ok. She’s feeling a bit better each day. The other day, books came flying off the shelf in her kitchen. I had never witnessed anything like that before and think her house is haunted. I had to make a quick drive by the other day because her electric scooter charger was lost and she wanted me to drive down to find it. I found it within 15 minutes and she was so relieved. Making sure her coffee is fresh for the next day, filling her cup with ice and water and anything else she might need before I leave is something I always do for her. I call her everyday to ask about her day and what else is new with her.

National News: The past week brought horrible tornadoes to Oklahoma. It’s been so heart breaking to see how many people have lost their homes and lives. You wonder why things like this happen. A building collapsed in Philly killing several people. The man behind the collapse was high on drugs. Unbelievable. All these people were doing were supporting the Salvation Army store by being customers and they ended up paying for their lives as a result. A little girl is waiting for a lung transplant. People with Verizon accounts such as emails and telephone are being spied on. I have Verizon for internet and my landline, but I hardly use my landline anyways. I’m about to change my Verizon because I don’t like it. A Swedish Princess got married to an American banker and I really like her dress too.

Song of the week: I fell in love with this song by Patty Cline called “You Belong To Me”. I saw it in a movie I reviewed called “The Deep Blue Sea”, which has quickly become a movie favorite of mine mostly because of the depth of the storyline. I can’t stop thinking about the movie and song. It is haunting my mind and I don’t mind at all. This song reminds me of how my mom is convincing me to go to Brazil next year to a town in the West Coast with a group of people (as a translator). I grew up in the Northern Eastern part of Brazil in the city of Belem. This town I might go to next year is in the opposite direction and much cooler in weather; I hope. I’m still thinking about going. I want to go, but at the same time I can’t guarantee my mom will be doing fine. Back to the song, since I love airplanes, I know exactly what kind of “silver plane” she is singing about in the song. To “see the jungle when it’s wet with rain” is something I have grown up seeing as a child. I can still smell the jungle air and feel the humidity surround me. This song just means a lot to me because it makes me a bit homesick. In a good way, of course.

It also reminds me that I am long overdue for a slow dance.

14 thoughts on “JavaGirl’s Journal: Week 1

    1. Really? Wow, thank you so much Wayaneza! I like your blogs too! Keep up the great job in telling about your gorgeous country of Bali. Hopefully, I’ll make it over there someday. The beaches are amazing!

    1. I like “Crazy” too. She sure has a way of getting into your mind and just taking over with her voice, doesn’t she? I’ve always liked singers from that era, like Etta James with “At Last”. Lyrics from back then are very romantic too. Romance has diminished in song lyrics these days. Romance is a lost art, unfortunately.

      1. I thing Gangsta Rap may be where we lost it all.
        Before Adel came along I probably would have agreed with you. Her songs and her voice seem to be putting the romance back in a lot of things.

      2. I don’t listen to Adel often, but I know I love Norah Jones! Her songs are pretty romantic too and her voice is pretty wispy to say the least. Maybe I’m biased because my little cousin’s name is Norah. “Don’t Know Why” is a favorite of mine. Might head down to the beach and relive that song. 🙂 Taking the day off from work because it’s my birthday. 😀

      3. Thank you! I had a lovely day! This week has flown by, but then again, I haven’t worked most of the week. I have 96 hours so far for vacation and over 176 hours for sick days. I used my first one in 2 years this past Monday because I wasn’t feeling well. It’s just allergy related, nothing serious. This pollen is hammering me bad this year. 😦

  1. Good job on the diary (:
    It must be hard to choose between your mom and going away (for ever?). Time doesn’t solve problems, but while it passes the best ideas will come up right!?

    1. The trip down to Brazil is just for a week. I don’t plan to live there forever. I grew up down there already, so I have plenty of amazing memories from my country. I just can’t predict my mom’s health this time next year. A lot of things in my life are in limbo right now because of her health. Some things are being put “on hold”. Right now, it’s pretty certain I’ll do my best to go on the trip. Yes, I’m always coming up with ideas! Great minds always think of ideas!

  2. Sounds like you have done a lot of retrospection lately. I’m glad to see you back on. It has been too long! My best wishes to you. By the way, I know that the world seems like it is going down the tubes, but there is a whole lot of good in the world, so much more than we can ever imagine. The media sensationalizes the bad and never really shows the good. The good is all around us. Just use that lens and focus on that good. Peace to you my friend!

    1. Yeah, in a way. Metaphorically speaking, it had to do with feeling valued. It’s something I’ve always struggled with through life since I was a kid. I have great self confidence and self esteem, but feeling valued has been slow. I can treat people like gold, yet there are some who will not treat you back like that. They treat you like crap. You treat them politely and go on, but at the same time you walk away like, “what is wrong with them? What did I do?” You begin to question your self value by how others treat you. It was my (best) friend Michelle here on WP who helped me understand my self value. It’s just a learning process of analyzing myself. It’s a good thing. It’s getting some use to it, but since then I’ve been feeling much better and feeling more valued by people who value themselves. If a person values themselves and treats *themselves* with respect, they’ll treat you the same. This has nothing really to do with any specific person, just in general. Life is about bettering yourself and learning or continuing to treat others with utmost respect and love. 🙂

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