My dear friend,
For some reason, the art of conversation came up in my mind during a very busy day. I guess I was thinking about it because I’ve had to make several phone calls today and trying to reach certain people, dealing with other professionals. One lady was especially rude and irritating to me over the phone, but I ignored her rudeness and let her spew whatever was in her head. I just asked her a simple question and she started to interrogate me over the phone. Even though she was rude, I artfully dodged her attitude and not let it bother me (it bothered me after I hung up with her) during our conversation. I could have gotten irritated myself (my goodness, it was morning), but I just pretended to let her act like she knew everything. I figured that if I said, “Oh yeh, you’re right, absolutely” she’d stop and calm down a bit. I ended the conversation with a chirpy thank you and said goodbye. Much to my amazement, she was polite and calm than when she began with.
Luckily, with my job I’ve had to deal with every kind of personality on this planet (mostly). The hardest ones to conversate with are the people who talk loud and nonstop. I can’t get a word in (I wait to see if they actually take a breath, some don’t, they must have gills or something). Then they look at me and wonder why I’m quiet and “shy”. I’m not shy by all means, but when someone is talking loudly and nonstop, I hope and try to speed in a verb or word during a microsecond of their break.
My favorite types of conversations (and often challenging) are people who are shy. Often it begins with me basically talking to myself as they sit there real quiet. Then I somehow ask them an open end question such as, “What was your favorite vacation spot and why did you like it?”. Ha, they can’t answer that with a “yes” or “no”. Once they answer, I then pick out a particular word from what they said and ask them about that. If they continue being shy, I then move on to my next phase of finding out what is their hobby or interest. Believe me, one time I thought I had gone through every hobby in the world to find out this one person’s interest. I’m persistant, so eventually I found out (20 minutes later of guessing and silence). Once you pinpoint someone’s interest or passion, suddenly they open up. Even if it’s about molecular DNA of a bottom feeder specie, just keep asking them about it. Experts say to immitate the body language of the person you are talking to to make them feel comfortable. They say leaning forward and having good eye contact is good (not a gawking or a lovestruck look- those creep me out).
I consider myself a good conversationalist even when I’m having a bad day. I find it very rude to be rude to people when I’m having a bad day; besides what did they do to be at the end of my wrath? Politeness goes a long way baby! But being realistic, there are days when I just want to listen.
Here is a clip of one of my favorite movies in the world. I have loved this movie since the first time I watched it. The entire movie is just two people conversating and getting to know each other. This is such a poetic movie. I love the dialogue between the two characters, the same rhythm of their words and sentences, the relaxed tone of voice and the simplicity of the entire movie. I feel a connection with Celine. I feel as though we think a lot alike about views of life in both movies. Have you ever met someone like this? Someone who just had a natural way of talking, or told you their dreams or didn’t feel shy about expressing their feelings? Whatever the experience you had, would you write a book about it? I would.