Moderation of thoughts.

With all the news and some sensationalization of it, I have to keep in mind how to view and listen to it in moderation. I think listening to certain news (especially if it is repeated over and over again) can really start playing with your mind. I think a small breaking point occured today after watching a video. I can’t get it out of my mind. I’ve never watched such a destruction. I saw this video which showed the waters coming into this town. The water was rushing and just devouring everything in its path. I looked at one of the comments below the video and it spoke of some people who were standing on a building. I missed it so I wanted to see it. I did. The camera was more focused on the waters rushing in and you hear screams. Then when the camera pans back to what I saw earlier, the entire town that was once standing up was completely gone, including the people. I only hope they survived it.  I can’t imagin what these people are going through. I can’t.  Being a former lifeguard and being trained to always be on the lookout and save people, my atennas are up and I feel so helpless. It’s instict to get up and run to help people. Being trained as a lifeguard was one of the best things that has happened to me in a para-professional field. When I go to the beach, even though there are lifeguards in their stands and I am in the water, I am still very aware of my surrounding, always keeping an eye at everyone to see if anyone needs help. I do enjoy my time splashing around, but I’m vigilant of others and making sure they are ok.

I want to hear about the heroes. Who are the heroes? What are their names? There are some good news of survivers, but I want to hear about the people who are risking their lives to save people. I guess in time we shall know. Never in my life would I think I would see a country go through so much as Japan.

So, I’ve had to moderate how much news I am watching. It effects me. I have so much empathy and sympathy for these people. I’ve read my books, watched funny and cute videos, talked to friends….all in balancing my mind.

Life is so fragile.

I’m busy planning our summer vacation. It’s going to be extremely fun and I’m looking forward to seeing things I’ve never seen before. Some will be a place of a kingdom I visited when I was 5 years old and 12. Another will be similar to a place that I went when I was 10.

I’ve had dreams. Dreams of places that I would see (or experience). This was a good dream and I’m looking forward to seeing if it comes true because it was so beautiful and amazing.

In my Red Cross Psychological First Aid training, they say to tell a trauma surviver….

“Close your eyes. Now think of a place you feel safe, anywhere in the world. It can be as far as an island or just your pillow, but it has to be a place you feel safe. You feel comfortable. You feel innocent. You feel loved. Go to that place. If it was not a place, someone who showed you kindness. Remember that face. How did they make you feel? Bring that feeling back right now….”

 and it has shown that surviver’s heartbeat and pulse start to relax more. This little excercise helps people to stall hyperventilating from being highly stressed. We’ve had to do this ourselves for training so we know exactly how they may feel. It was a tough training as we had to think of something extremely stressful that happened in our life. We had to revisit it. There were some tears in the class. Then our partners did the excercise with us which I just told you about….so we could understand a trauma surviver.

Anyways, so I’ve been up late almost everynight just watching endless videos of certain trips (of the location we are going to) and seeing what fun they had. I’ve watched countless videos about the places we will visit. All this has helped me get excited and just ready for a much and overdue vacation.

I had somewhat of a long day today. My muffler got fixed and the pipe that went with it. I felt ripped off from the tow truck driver. He had a bit of an attitude with me. I dropped something on my kitchen floor, the new lady at the front desk of my leasing office had also a “tude” as well. I just reminded myself, “I’m not having a bad day, I’m not having a bad day, I’m not having a bad day”.

 I wasn’t wearing shiny red ruby shoes, but I would have clicked my heels if I did.

My Lords and Ladies, tell me thine thoughts if it pleases thee below...

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